Last week was rough. As
if the side effects of the chemo weren't enough, I had to deal with financial
decisions and plans that needed to be
made. This week has shown gradual
improvement, just in time to start chemo all over again next week; such a lovely thought! Last week, as I struggled to stay on my feet
for more than thirty minutes at a time and watched life moving on around me, I
was struck by how I was surrounded by so many people reaching out to me. When things seemed to overwhelm me, I found I was surrounded by the love and
prayers of saints from around the world, many whom I have never met, expressed
in notes, calls and visits. I also found myself surrounded by family and friends
bearing my burdens by reaching out to meet my every need providing meals and
rides, sitting with me through chemo treatments and so many other practical
things. I can't begin to express how
much all this working out of love means to me.
However, as great as the expressions of human love have
meant to me, it also triggered my thinking on what else I am surrounded
by. If I only take time to look, I find
I am surrounded by God's majestic, intricately made creation (Psalm 8 and
24). How marvelous the thought that I
don't need to fear even if those majestic mountains should quake and fall
(Psalm 46)! What a thought that the One
who decked out the lily in all its intricate beauty cares more for me than that
flower that no human being can replicate (Matthew 6:28). I find I am sheltered under the shadow of His
wings (Psalm 61:4, 63:7, 57:1) on the rock that is higher than I am (Psalm
61:2-4). I am surrounded by His light
and strength (Psalm 27), the constant presence of a God from whom I couldn't
hide if I tried (Psalm 23 and 139). The
eye of God watches over me day and night (Psalm 33:18, 34:15) and His ears are
hearing my cries and moans (Psalm 34:15).
When the pangs of death and the worries of this world threaten to
overwhelm me, I can rest in the fact that the LORD is the strength of my life
and my portion forever. I am surrounded
by His mercy (Psalm 32:10) and His steadfast love (which is mentioned more
times in the Bible than I could ever list).
I was asked this past week, how I can maintain my hope in
the midst of the knowledge of the cancer overtaking my body, the horrible side
effects of chemo, and the uncertainty of life without a paycheck. My answer was and is simple: I can't!
No more can I produce a hope that will sustain me on my own, than I can rid my body of the cancer or produce a
paycheck without a job. If it were up to
me, I would be overwhelmed and life would not be worth going on living. I cannot produce the God who surrounds me
with His mercy and steadfast love. I
cannot snap my fingers and have that appear; I cannot decide to produce that
and have it happen. I am totally
unworthy! It is totally His love and His
mercy to a sinner such as I, unmerited on my part, that sustains me. I will never be able to comprehend it fully
on this earth and look forward to the day I can understand it fully in heaven! Once again my mantra that it is not my faith,
but He who my faith is placed in who sustains me!
And
Can It Be that I Should Gain
Charles Wesley,
1707-1788
And can it be that
I should gain
an interest in the
Savior's blood!
Died he for me?
who caused his pain!
For me? who him to
death pursued?
Amazing love! How
can it be
that thou, my God,
shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How
can it be
that thou, my God,
shouldst die for me?
Tis mystery all:
th' Immortal dies!
Who can explore
his strange design?
In vain the
firstborn seraph tries
to sound the
depths of love divine.
'Tis mercy all!
Let earth adore;
let angel minds
inquire no more.
'Tis mercy all!
Let earth adore;
let angel minds
inquire no more.
He left his
Father's throne above
(so free, so
infinite his grace!),
emptied himself of
all but love,
and bled for
Adam's helpless race.
'Tis mercy all,
immense and free,
for O my God, it
found out me!
'Tis mercy all,
immense and free,
for O my God, it
found out me!
Long my imprisoned
spirit lay,
fast bound in sin
and nature's night;
thine eye diffused
a quickening ray;
I woke, the
dungeon flamed with light;
my chains fell
off, my heart was free,
I rose, went
forth, and followed thee.
My chains fell
off, my heart was free,
I rose, went
forth, and followed thee.
No condemnation
now I dread;
Jesus, and all in
him, is mine;
alive in him, my
living Head,
and clothed in
righteousness divine,
bold I approach
th' eternal throne,
and claim the
crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach
th' eternal throne,
and claim the
crown, through Christ my own.
No comments:
Post a Comment