Monday, November 25, 2013

Thanksgiving



I absolutely love Thanksgiving day!  It is my favorite holiday of the year and this year is no exception.  Despite being on my scooter, with the help of my wonderful family I intend to put on a feast that will long be remembered.  I decided to list on my blog just a few of the many things that I am especially thankful for this year.

I am incredibly grateful for the many who read this blog and intercede before God's throne for me.  Though I have not met many of you, you have become precious to me.  I am thankful for the prayers I know you will be sending up as I have my surgery in Houston on December 9th.

I am so grateful to God  for the way He has proved in my life His promises to care for the fatherless  and widow.

I am thankful beyond measure for the wonderful family God has blessed me with:  for my eldest, Jesse, who loves and gives without question;  for Jason, who has a great heart of compassion and has held the family and house together for many years;   for Heather who has given of her love unconditionally since she has been part of our family;  for Christopher, who fills my life with laughter and joy and has given up of himself to look after the day-by-day needs of our household; for Bethany who has blessed our home with  her creativity and love;  for David who, with a great heart for God, is always ready to remind me of Whose hands I rest in;  for Rachel, who despite the trials in her young life, has grown into a beautiful, godly young lady expressing much of herself in her art;  for Ryan, a godly young man, who has blessed me by treasuring my daughter! I have five children and two daughters-in-law who are each unique in their personalities, but alike in their loving hearts, compassion and especially their love for the Lord.

I am thankful for a godly mother who has been a wonderful example to me, as well as a mentor and teacher  to many.  She is a wonderful blessing in our home.

I am so grateful that God has allowed me to live long enough to be a grandmother to Tegan and to the little one Heather carries.  I am grateful for the joy grandchildren have brought into my life.

I am grateful for my sister, brothers, their spouses, other family members and dear friends who have faithfully stood beside me on my journey with cancer, supporting me every step of the way.

I am thankful for my church family who have encouraged and supported me with prayers, notes, hugs, meals, financially and in so many other ways.  For a pastor and leaders of the church who have kept track of my needs to a young girl who gives me a hug most every Sunday!

As we feast, I am thankful that we are able to have such an outlay of food and that God has seen to our every need when so many go hungry.

I am thankful for coworkers who became my friends and supported me while at work and have kept up their friendship and love beyond the workplace.

Doctors, nurses and office staff have become such an integral part of my life the last few years, and I am grateful for the way they have looked after my medical needs.  I am particularly grateful for the ones here locally who have cared for me as a friend. 

I am grateful that God has blessed me with more time on this earth, grateful ahead of the fact for the way He intends to use the surgery in my life and that the results are in the Great Physician's hands!

I am surrounded by the wonderful beauty of God's creation, which reminds me of His care and power every day.  I am grateful for the ever changing sunsets, the multi-colored leaves, the roses in my front yard and the crickets that serenade me every day.  I could not begin to list the wonderful things I see and hear that so often go unnoticed.

I am so thankful that God has sustained me, and all of mine all these years, for without His work on holding our beings together, we would not have lived.

I am grateful beyond measure for the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ.

I am grateful for the work of His Holy Spirit in my life, and His constant intercession for me.

 I am so thankful that even through the trials in this life, I can rest secure that I have a heavenly Father who is in control and who loves me with a love beyond all understanding.  I am so thankful for the steadfast mercy He has shown me and the peace that He has given me.

I am thankful that walking down this weary, painful path of cancer, that I am not alone.

Lastly, I am so thankful that, at the time of God's perfect choosing, I will leave this world and pass into my glorious home in Heaven where there will be no more pain, tears or suffering!

The poem below is meaningful to me as a "stitchery" person.  I intend to take it with me to the hospital when I have surgery to remind me of Who is in control.

Just A Weaver
by Benjamine Malachi Franklin

My life is but a weaving,
between my God and me,
I do not choose the colors,
He worketh steadily.

Ofttimes he weaveth sorrow,
and I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper,
and I the underside.

Not till the loom is silent,
and the shuttles cease to fly,
Will God unroll the canvas,
and explain the reasons why

The dark threads are as needful
in the skillful weaver's hand
As threads of gold and silver
in the pattern He has planned.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Perfect Peace



"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." –John 14:27

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." –John 16:33

At the end of October I had a follow-up visit to the cancer center in Houston.  It was obvious from their scans that the chemotherapy had failed.  The options they gave for treatment were major surgery, some chemo pills or a Phase I clinical trial.  On return to my local oncologist to discuss my options I had a couple more scans done.  I had asked God for clarity in making decisions and was given that.  The scan I had here showed progression of the lesion in the femur bone and really no choice but to have surgery soon to avoid fracture.  This will not be a curative surgery (humanly speaking) but hopefully will prevent the bone from breaking and perhaps give me some better mobility.  I am hoping to get in to see a Dallas sarcoma surgeon as an option to having surgery in Houston.  Whichever center I choose, I need to have this done quickly due to the fragility of the bone as well as the practical issue of my insurance paying at 100% through December.

As I wait for details to be worked out and final decisions to be made, I'll admit to trepidation over the upcoming surgery. I have always dreaded this path, partly because, as a nurse, I know a little too much about what it involves.  There is also the fear of the unknown as far as the rehab process, end results and pain.  Also, like many people, I do not like the helpless feeling of being under anesthesia (rather ironic since in reality I am no more helpless there than in any other part of my life).  In thinking of my anxieties about surgery this week I have struggled with the concept of peace and done some reading on it.   I wanted to know just what is perfect peace,  is this peace to be obtained only in heaven and how do I attain this peace?

I found that in the Bible, peace is mentioned frequently.  There is the peace with God in salvation, the peace that is the opposite of war and the peace that we are to have with our neighbors and enemies.  Then there is the perfect peace that passes all understanding that is promised by Christ.  Just what is this peace?  I've come to think of it as the calmness of soul despite a life full of trouble. This is the peace that only comes from above.  One of my favorite authors, Arthur Pink, describes the elements of Christ's peace which He passes onto us  as an unshakeable confidence in the Divine providence, an unchanging trust in God, and an unparalleled meekness.   As Thomas Watson said,  It gives us songs in the night. It puts joy into our hearts when we are in the midst of sorest trouble. It turns our thorns into roses.  That is the peace that I have, and yet, still seek in its fullness.

It is also obvious that this peace  is not freedom from trials and troubles.  The secret of the Christian's joy, hope, peace, and strength is placed inside him by God Himself.  This peace is not manufactured by me, but is from the God who never fears and the God who never sleeps.  As R.J. Miller said, It is God's omnipotence which keeps us. It is God's Spirit who broods over the turbulent floods of life, and brings order out of chaos. It is God's Son who stands on the vessel, amid the wild storms, and compels them to become quiet and still at his feet. It is God's grace that enters into the believer's heart and abides there as a well of living water within, springing up into everlasting life. We cannot command our own spirit and compel it to be at rest, when sorrow or peril is on every side. God alone can keep us in peace. Nothing that is not infinite and eternal—can be a safe and secure hiding place for an immortal life.

As to whether this peace be attained on this earth,  I know it to be so, because God has promised it. "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging! (Psalm 46)  Christ also promised it to His people before His death when He said He would leave His peace with us.  When I think of Christ promising this peace just before He faced the most horrific torture and death, I am humbled.  When I think of martyrs proving this peace can be attained on this earth, going to their death with their eyes lit up, praising God, I am convicted.  When I think of Abraham, Joseph, Job, Stephen and so many more who looked up instead of at their troubles, I am desirous to share their peace in its fullness.

As to how to obtain this peace, I have learned that the peace from above is not dependent on me, or it would fail.   So I seek to stay my mind on God.  I seek to look to Him alone as He is the Omnipotent One who has promised perfect peace.  "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms." Deuteronomy 33:27   I am not only promised peace, but it is my duty to have it, so I seek to follow Paul's admonition to "Be anxious for nothing. In everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God."  I seek to meditate on the Word, seek the Lord in prayer and look above.  I think on what Thomas Watson says, The life of Christian faith is not freed from pain—but out of the pain comes rich blessing. The crown of thorns must be worn by the Master's friends who follow him faithfully—but the thorns burst into sweet flowers as the light of heaven's morning touches them.

    "God has not promised
    Skies ever blue,
    Flower strewn pathways,
    Always for you.

    God has not promised
    Sun without rain,
    Joy without sorrow,
    Peace without pain.

    But God has promised
    Strength from above,
    Unfailing sympathy,
    And undying love."

From John McDuff:

"Amid all trials, however, it is the believer's consolation, that, despite of outer disquietudes, the true peace of Christ itself cannot be disturbed. The former are only like the surface-heavings of the ocean. That surface alone is fretted and ruffled. Go down into its unexplored depths, among its luscious wildernesses of sub-marine seaweed--its coral rocks and wondrous mosaic of pebble and sand, and all is peaceful and still. No rolling billow is heard there--no roaring breaker--no scream of storm-birds. So with the soul! In its lowest, truest depths, all is peace. The ship may be tossed, but its moorings are secure. In the same sentence in which the pressure of present corruption impels Paul to cry out, "O wretched man that I am;" he adds, "I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord." He bemoans the tossings of the frail bark in one breath--he remembers the strength and security of the anchor in the next.

The believer's subjective peace, the calm assurance or consciousness of his interest in Christ, may be often assailed. But the peace itself cannot be. The clouds, engendered by sin and weakness and unbelief, may at times obscure from his vision the rays of the Sun. But the Sun, notwithstanding, shines brightly as ever. Once that peace is his, he knows it never can be finally forfeited. The flowing of the spiritual river may be impeded; there may be opposing rocks which here and there disturb the even course of its current--but it will surmount them all, and mingle its waters at last in the ocean of eternal peace and love in heaven....

Speed, then, your flight, O weary wanderer, to the true Ark. The true Noah, the "Rest," the Peace-giver, invites you within. Seize the olive-branch, and wing your way across the stormy waters. The bough on which your earthly nest was built, may have been felled by the axe or broken by the storm; but "He is our peace." And as driven by the windy tempest your cry is, "O Lamb of God that takes away the sins of the world, grant me Your peace!"--O Rock of Ages, cleft and smitten for me, grant me Your shelter!

May it be yours to listen to the glad response, "My peace I give unto you"--"Though you have lived among the pots, yet shall you be as the wings of a dove covered with silver, and her feathers with yellow gold."

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Sweet Incense



"And another angel came and stood at the altar with a golden censer, and he was given much incense to offer with the prayers of all the saints on the golden altar before the throne,  and the smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, rose before God from the hand of the angel.  Revelation 8: 3,4

I am waiting the results of a PET scan I had this week.  I see my local oncologist next week and hope to make decisions about further treatment based on our visit and those results.  In the meantime, too many long nights have made this blog too long.

Below is a letter and poem written by Samuel Rutherford to Marion M'Naught, born in 1585 in Scotland.  It was said of her, "Above everything else, Marion M'Naught was a woman of prayer, and in her heart there burned a passionate concern for the welfare of Christ's church and for a revival of true religion in the land."  Samuel Rutherford said of her, "Faint not, keep breath, , believe;  howbeit men, and husband, and friends prove weak, yet your strength faileth not...It is your glory to lay hold on your Rock.  O woman greatly beloved!  I testify and avouch it in my Lord, that the prayers ye sent to heaven these many years by gone are come up before the Lord, and shall not be forgotten...The bride will yet sing, as in the days of her youth."

O woman greatly loved,
Your prayers are heard on high;
God reads the language of your tears,
And marks the earnest sigh.
Firm is the Rock to which you cleave,
Faint not, keep breath and still believe.

So shall your bow abide
Unshaken in its strength.
Hold fast in faith, though all prove weak
Or weary grow at length.
The field is lost if you should fail
But well-placed hope must soon prevail.

For prayers that rise to God,
Though many years pass by,
Remembered still, wait near His throne,
Beneath His kindly eye.
The God of glory must fulfill
His faithful promises and will.

And mercy shall come down:
For though the bush may burn,
Yet unconsumed it still remains,
Till Christ in mercy turn,
And by His Spirit's quickening breath
Raise up His bride from dust and death.

And she shall sing once more
As in her youthful days,
High songs of praise to her fair King,
While men in wonder gaze.
Then shall the olive bud again
And all Christ's enemies be slain.

To Marion M'Naught  (Aberdeen, 1637)

What a blessed thing to be said about a person!  I will admit that I somewhat envy what Samuel Rutherford was able to say of this woman, and I hope it is not too late for me to become like her in prayer.  Reading this and knowing of the fervent prayers sent out by others for me, as well as thinking on my own prayer life, has given me the desire to blog about some things I think are important in prayer.    

I hesitate to focus on  intercessory prayer, where my thoughts have been running, as that is such a small part of prayer.  I am reminded of the importance of remembering who you are praying to.  Our God is a holy God who sits on the throne above.  He is able to do far above all we ask or think.  On top of that He will always do what is for our good and His glory (Romans 8:18).  He loves us with a love we cannot begin to comprehend and He has promised to hear us, His lowly creatures.  He has also told us how to pray.  So often our prayers are primarily intercessory, but, as taught in the Lord's Prayer and elsewhere we are to worship and adore Him in prayer and give Him gratitude due to His name.  We are to pray for His name to be made holy and His kingdom to come.  However, when we do intercede there are some things that I think are important.  We need to....

Pray fervently.  One of my favorite parables in the Bible and one frequently recalled to God in my prayers is that of the widow and the judge in Luke 18.  The point is that the judge finally does what the widow asks because she keeps badgering him.  As it says in verse 7 And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? This is Jesus, Himself, encouraging us to pray fervently.  One prayer is not enough. God says our prayers rise as incense to Heaven where the Holy Spirit makes intercession for us (Romans 8: 22 - 27) whether our prayers are words or groans.

Pray patiently.  Never give up on prayer.  I'll admit to a couple times when I gave up after praying for someone for many years.  Amazingly, long after I gave up hope they became totally new persons in Christ.  I was so ashamed that I had quit praying, but delighted that God still answered. For two years my family has daily prayed for a pastor from a country where there is a great deal of persecution after he ended up separated in another country while his family was left behind.  This family had to endure much.  I believe that from the time we found out about the situation that one of the family members or myself never neglected to pray for this pastor and his family on a daily basis.  God did not work in our time (though we did ask...in His will) but two years later is seeing fit to let them be rejoined.  Another man, a friend who had recently married, went to prison on a twelve year sentence for a mistake that would not have been a problem except for felonies from his youth of sin.  For nine years my children have not let family devotions go by without praying for Harvey and for him to be paroled.  God did not answer as we hoped for all those years, but He is answering within the next month as the parole process has started.  In the meantime a reformed Bible study was started weekly in the prison and his testimony has been passed onto many.  God knew the timing was not right until now.

Pray frequently.  Whether morning, noon or night; whether in family devotions, a prayer group or by yourself;  whether on your knees, driving (with your eyes open), or cleaning your toilet, there is no wrong time to pray.  God does not need our prayers in order to answer, but He asks for them and even commands them, so it is a means He uses.  My sister once told me to not worry about the times she woke up in the night, because she figured God wanted her awake to pray.  A good friend just the other day told me that whenever she wakens at night she prays for me.  What a blessing to hear!

Pray for yourself.  Pray especially that you might grow in the knowledge of God.  Pray that you use every moment to His glory.  Pray that He convict you of your sin (that's a hard one you need to mean).  Pray that He use you in the life of others.  Pray that you will always accept His will.   "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need!" Hebrews 4:16.  Pray when you are needy and when you are full.  Always give Him the praise He deserves.  Pray about the sin that so easily besets you.

Pray for individuals.  Pray for your spouse, your children, and the rest of your family daily.  Pray WITH your spouse and your children daily.  It's hard to fight with a spouse you've just prayed for and hard to speak in anger to a child if you've stopped to pray yourself before responding.   When you are pregnant (or before) is none too early to be praying that God might know your child even in your womb and even be praying that He might be preparing a godly spouse for them. Pray for your loved ones who don't know the Lord.  Remember it is not you or what you do that saves them, but the Holy Spirit, and remember that it is never too late to pray until they're in the grave.  Pray for your enemies or those you dislike.  God doesn't tell you to like them, but He does tell you to pray for them and do good to them.  It may be years later that you find that your attitude was what was used to turn them to the Lord. And, maybe you will never know, but God still will have heard those prayers.  Pray for people in the church and friends who are struggling.  Pray for the ones where you don't know of any struggles and pray for their spiritual growth.  But, don't stop with praying with individuals.

Pray for your church body and the church throughout the world.  God works in individuals and cares for individuals without any doubt, but God's goal on this earth is not so much to bring a bunch of separate individuals to Heaven, but to bring a perfected body of Christ.  The lady of prayer in the poem above was known to fervently pray and fast especially for revival and growth in the church as well as the land of Scotland.  Years back several ladies met with me weekly and we interceded for all the needs we knew, but we especially prayed for our local church, for its perfecting, spiritual growth and for the leaders of the church.    We saw many answers and I am ashamed to say I too often neglect that today.  I find out about problems in the church and have to ask myself when the last time I prayed about that issue.  Pray for the marriages, the homes, the jobs, the spiritual life, the children growing into adults, the parents struggling to raise children.  Pray that God would give your leaders wisdom, courage, boldness and soundness of doctrine.  Pray that they might be given the time they need to be with their families as they often sacrifice much, but also pray that God would give their families the grace and patience to uplift and assist them in what God has called them to do.  Pray that they might see what needs to be done to make the church one that is pleasing to God, as is said of the church in Philadelphia in Revelation 2, and have the courage to initiate that.  Pray for your pastor as he prepares his messages and as he leads his flock.  Pray that your church doors might be filled with those who desire to worship God as He is and then that you would have to figure out how to afford a bigger church.  Pray for churches you don't know that pastors might not lead their flock astray, but might know God and His word more and more every day.  Pray for your missionaries who carry out your work.  Pray for the persecuted church and the church throughout the world.  But, don't stop with praying for the church.

Pray for your nation and the world.  My son read Psalm 119 verse 136 the other night, "136 My eyes shed streams of tears,  because people do not keep your law."   As he read, I wondered when the last time was that I had streams of tears, because of Christians and non-Christians profaning and sinning against the holy God.  Again I was ashamed that my prayers do not daily go to praying about the sin in my nation; the things that I know are an affront to my Holy God.  The things that have become so common that they get pushed back where I can't, or rather won't,  see them.  How often do I pray that God would work in the hearts of our leaders?  More especially, how often do I pray that God would turn the hearts of His people back to Himself where Christianity is more than a tag to wear and more than a one-day-a-week profession as we know that restoration will come when God's people are pleasing to the Lord?

Pray in His will.  Does God always answer our prayers?  Yes.  Is it always in the time we think? No, and I daresay, not usually.  Is it always the answer we want?  No, but I know it is the best answer because that is what He has promised. The point is He only knows what is absolutely best for us and His glory.  When my children pray in family devotions for my healing, I silently add "your will be done."  Is it because I don't want to be healed?  Oh my, NO.  I would give great glory to God for that miracle.  However, do I think God commonly works in healing miracles today?  No, I don't.  I do however know that I am safe in praying that if God wills He heal me, but above all else that whether He heal, prolong my life or take me shortly to my eternal home that it will be all to His glory.  Who am I to try to determine His will? 

Continue earnestly in prayer  (James Smith, "The Pastor's Evening Visit")

"Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving." Colossians 4:2

Prayer is always necessary, and it is always profitable. In prayer . . .
  we do homage to the perfections of God,
  we exercise faith on His omnipresence,
  we express our dependence on Him for our supplies,
  we evince the sincerity of our profession,
  we acknowledge our poverty and weakness,
  we unburden the mind of our secret trials,
  we give vent to our feelings of joy and sorrow, of gratitude and grief,
  we give utterance to our desires, and spread our case before the Lord,
  we . . .
    confess our sins,
    acknowledge our backslidings,
    and obtain pardon and restoring grace.
Prayer is the medium of communication between God and our souls:
   We communicate our thoughts, feelings, fears, and desires.
   He communicates light, strength, comfort, and grace to us.
Prayer is a very important duty; it is a great privilege.
Prayer should be  constant,   fervent,   believing,   hopeful, and   incessant.

God loves it, Satan hates it, and every true Christian values it.
We should be always in a praying frame--though we cannot be always in a praying posture.
True prayer is always  necessary,  profitable and  acceptable to God.