Seeming Uncertainties in Life

Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness;  he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing."

Psalm 35:27  "Let those who delight in my righteousness shout for joy and be glad and say evermore,

'Great is the Lord,  who delights in the welfare of his servant!'”

Ephesians 2:7  "...so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus."

God is the most vital part of our lives;  the most important truth in the universe, yet He seems to be the most neglected reality in individuals, churches and nations.  John  Piper in his book The Godward Life discusses what we need to do to change this when he says,  What we need is a big picture of a great God who is utterly committed to joyfully demonstrating his greatness in doing us good.  That is, we need to see the majesty of God and know the splendor of God overflowing toward us with exuberant omnipotence.    It is not enough to believe that God is big and strong and fearsome-which he is.  We must experience this magnificence as the explosion of God's uncontainable zeal to satisfy his creatures by showing them himself.  I've read that quote over again and again as I let it's awesome truth sink in.

In the midst of thinking on his devotional, I've been seeing a great deal of uncertainty in life, at least uncertainty as far as we humans know it, with several people weighing heavily on my heart.  My sweet Mother-in-law recently went from puttering in her kitchen (something I will always picture her doing as she makes the world's best rolls) in one moment to having a stroke the next.  She is left unable to speak or swallow and very weak on one side.  In a moment of time life changed forever for she and her husband.  In our church we have a family who is dealing with one of their young sons having leukemia.  Two years ago, I doubt they could have pictured where they would be today or how their life would have changed.  Several others in the church are taking treatment for cancer, a brother in Christ suddenly being left with deteriorating vision making it impossible for him to drive and another friend bringing her Mother home to live with her family only to be faced with some serious health issues.  It seems that there are trials and what appears to be uncertainty wherever I turn.

In the meantime, I have been back to Houston and been found to have "clean" scans.  Of course, I am quick to be reminded that they don't know where IT will show up next and that this past time it did not show up on the routine scans (which cover only the lungs and the lower leg.)   However, I breathe a breath of fresh air reassured that those scans look good and marvel that I have outlived the "median survival" for my type and stage of cancer.  I laughed recently when I read that statistically I had a 0% survival rate!  I thought it was rather humorous since that is what we all have barring a quick return of Christ!   These trips to Houston leave me with a seeming uncertainty in my own life that I am sure I dwell on too often.  It is hard not to cough and wonder if it is the cancer gone to the lungs, or have pain and wonder if it is the next cancer site.  I do believe that sometimes God in Heaven shakes His head and says, "Oh Mary, when will you learn?!"

As I ponder my health and that of my friends and the changes that it has brought into our lives, I realize that our uncertainty and God's "exuberant omnipotence" are not so hard to put together when we begin to understand that God created us for His glory.  In fact, He saved us for His glory, not just to keep us from going to hell, but so we could magnify His name.   As Jonathan Edwards preached (in a sermon when he was 20 years old!), "The godly are designed for unknown and inconceivable happiness."  This is because of the glory it brings to God.  Piper says it in his words as, "the certainty and greatness of the happiness of God's people is as sure as God's zeal for his own glory."  I think if I/we could get our heads around that statement and have the utmost confidence in that truth, it would keep us at peace and steady despite our afflictions and troubles.  Our uncertainty is only in our heads for our uncertainty is God's certainty!

Some wonderful quotes on afflictions that I have recently unearthed from some favorite authors.

Jonathan Edwards:

God's people, whenever they are scorched by afflictions as by hot sun-beams, may resort to him, who is as a shadow of a great rock, and be effectually sheltered, and sweetly refreshed.

Charles Spurgeon:

Bear patiently the rod for a season, and under the darkness still trust in God, for His love burns

towards you. God loves you, his child, with a love too deep for human imagination! 

He loves you with all His infinite heart!

You may fear that the Lord has passed you by, but it is not so: He who counts the stars, and calls

them by their names, is in no danger of forgetting His own children. He knows your case as thoroughly

as if you were the only creature He ever made, or the only saint He ever loved.

Approach Him and be at peace.

 

Tribulations are treasures; and if we were wise, we would reckon our  afflictions among our rarest jewels.

 The caverns of sorrow are mines of diamonds!

 Our earthly possessions may be silver, but trials are, to the saints, invariably gold.

 We may grow in grace through what we enjoy,  but we probably make the greatest progress  through what we suffer.

Soft gales' may be pleasant for heaven bound vessels, but 'rough winds' are better. The 'calm' is our way, but God has his way in the whirlwind,  and he rides on the wings of the wind.

Heir of heaven, your present trials are your medicine. You need that your soul, like your body, should be dealt with by the beloved Physician.  He can heal without the lancet if he desires, but he does not  choose to do so, but will use the means of affliction.  In all his potion there is not one 'chance' atom;    the medicine has been compounded by no ordinary skill;  the infinite wisdom which balanced the clouds, and fixed the corner stone of the world, has been employed to compound the ingredients of your present trial.

Your affliction shall not be too much for you, it shall be just such a trial as you require.

Weep not because your sun has gone done, for it descends that the dews may be brought forth and the earth may be watered, and the flowers may drip with perfume. Wait  awhile,  and the sun shall come back to you again, and the morn shall be the brighter because of the gloom of the night.

Rain and Waiting

Everything these days seems to be about waiting.  I am rather impatiently waiting for my walker to be a thing of the past.  I am waiting to see what an MRI later this week shows about another nodule in THE leg as well as results of the routine scans.  I am waiting to find out what direction the Houston oncologists recommend going this Friday:  both what, if any, scans to do routinely and any treatment.  My local oncologist recommends stopping the routine scans (they would not have picked up this last metastasis in the femur and chemotherapy has failed) and suggests looking at some studies on immunotherapy and watching for any symptoms before scanning (I tend to like that idea).  I am not the most patient person in the world and, like most of us, I like the path to be clear, and obviously haven't yet fully learned the lesson that we cannot know what tomorrow brings.

I was thinking about my impatience in waiting yesterday.  My thoughts were rather gloomy which I felt went along rather well with the weather as it was raining, cloudy, dark and cold.  As I contemplated this more in the afternoon, I read a chapter in John Piper's book II of A Godward Life.  The title of the chapter, I thought, was quite appropriate for the day; The Great Work of God: Rain!  I couldn't help but feel that my perspective on the rainy day would have to change however when I read that title and the verses he quoted from Job 5:8-10;

              "But as for me, I would seek God,

              And I would place my cause before God; 

              Who does great and unsearchable things,

              Wonders without number.

              He gives rain on the earth,

              And sends water on the fields."

Piper was remarking on Job's thought that the rain was a "great and unsearchable thing" from God.  His  thoughts on the process of the rain falling filled me with a sense of  awe at the majesty of God and reminded me to think of His great power and love for His people when I am waiting.   Though lack of rain cannot account for my failed attempts at both vegetable gardens and fruit trees, it is vital both to my gardens, life itself and the farmer's produce.  As far as I'm concerned the rain falls from the sky and rarely do I stop to think of how that happens.  I don't think of that water being carried, sometimes hundreds of miles, from a lake, ocean or sea.  For one inch of rain to fall on a square mile of land it would need to be 27,878,400 cubic feet of water, or 206,300,160 gallons or 1,650,501,280 pounds!  It is beyond my comprehension to picture that amount being evaporated, brought up to the skies, gathering around dust particles that are between .00001 and .0001 centimeters wide to condense and fall down to the earth.  And if salt is in the water, it needs to be taken out before falling lest it kill the crops.  Not only that, but the water has to come down in little drops that are big enough to fall about a mile without evaporating and small enough not to crush the plants!  That is a very simplistic explanation for something very complex that is far beyond my feeble mind to comprehend and can only be orchestrated by a majestic God.

I am left in wonder that God would orchestrate this rain so perfectly, not only to care for the plants He created, but to care for us, His people.  I concluded several things as I thought on the rain.   First it left me determined to never again think of the rain so negatively.  It also made me determined to take time to stop and see the beauty of God's working in the creation around me every day.  It also humbled me as I  realized that just as God caused the raindrops to fall at the precise time He pleased, so He knows the perfect time for everything going on in my life, even the cancer.  I need not be impatient because that impatience is looking at things from my perspective and not His.  I am left praying with David in Psalm 138, Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me;  You will stretch out Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me,  The LORD will perfect that which concerns me;  Your mercy, O LORD, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands.