A few weeks ago a blood test showed that the
sarcoma, not surprisingly, is once again wrecking havoc in my body. I
had a few weeks to consider it while waiting for a PET scan to determine where
it has settled now. The scan did not pinpoint where it has popped up which is both
good and bad. We know it is there as the
dna blood test was very elevated, but, at least, it is not wide spread. Until
worsening symptoms arise and more scans are ordered, I wait and rejoice in each
day I have.
As I awaited the scan results I felt anew that
there is a shadow that hangs close to me - the shadow of death. Even as I am
reminded with great comfort, that the Shepherd walks with me through that
Valley of the Shadow of Death - however long it is, I shed some tears. Tears in
anticipating that the day is coming when I will not be able to be the influence
that Lois in the Bible was to her grandson Timothy, to my own grandchildren;
tears that one day I will not be able to care for my special need son; and mostly
tears for the tears that I know family and friends will shed.
Thinking on this over the last few weeks I
decided to focus on tears in the Bible - a very enlightening study. It amazes
me how many of God’s children cried out to Him with tears all seen and heard by
Him. I don't doubt that likewise He knows and feels my tears. As Psalm 56:8
says in one of the most precious verses in the Bible to me, God bottles up our
tears and writes them down in His book!
Even as I think of these tears that I have shed
I am reminded of what Ephesians 1:4 says, that even before he made the world
God loved me and chose me in Christ! I am overwhelmed when I consider that before
God ever said "let there be light", before He ever made the world,
before He ever made the mountains or the oceans or caused the sun to shine....
before all of that He knew and He loved me! And what an awesome thought
to think that this is the same God who in the person of Jesus wept at the death
of his friend, Lazarus and at the tears of Lazarus’s sisters! “His cheeks were
bedewed with tears such as those which drop from our eyes, and by those tears
all knew what manner of love he had towards his chosen. Blessed be his name!”
(Charles Spurgeon) This is the same Jesus who knows my tears and promises one
day to wipe them away!
Charles Spurgeon in a great sermon on Jesus
weeping says, "Jesus was no unsuffering seraph, no cherub incapable of
grief, but he was bone of our bone, and flesh of our flesh; and therefore
"Jesus wept." ‘Jesus
wept’" to teach us how to baptize our prayers unto God in a wave of heart
grief.” ... his sympathy lies not alone in words, not even wholly in deeds - it
is more tender than these can be. Only his heart could express His tender
sympathy, and then it was by tears - tears which were brought up like gold from
the ore-bed of the heart, minted in the eyes, and then put in circulation as
current coin of the merchant, each one bearing the King’s image and
superscription.”
“There is not a square inch in the whole domain
of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over all, does not
cry, Mine!” (Abraham Kyuper). What a
great reminder that Christ cries “Mine” over everything in our lives: our pain,
our cancer, our heath issues, our tears, our heart breaks, our struggles. Yes -
our very life and death.
