Hope After Labor

Romans 8: 18-25 "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.  For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.  For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.  For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.  And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.  For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?  But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."

                                                                     

After 38 weeks of pregnancy my daughter-in-law went into labor this week and after forty long hard hours delivered a beautiful baby girl.  As I prayed through her labor, I was reminded of my labors many years ago:   months of pregnancy with the culmination in hard, painful labor such as no one could have prepared me.  Then the birth of  a beautiful little one made ever so perfectly in the image of God and  the pain quickly forgotten.

While my blood counts headed the wrong direction this week, my pain and fatigue became aggravating and the news was full of horrors throughout the world, I thought on Bethany's labor and what the Bible says about it in relation to the suffering in the world.  Jesus, talking to His disciples, before His betrayal and death was answering their question about His leaving them.  He likened their sorrow and the troubles to come to that of a woman in labor while He was gone from them.  But in the end when He returns again, as a woman delivered, the sorrow would be gone and replaced with joy.    He said in John 16: 20-22, "Most assuredly, I say to you that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; and you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy.  As a woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come;  but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.  Therefore you now have sorrow;  but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you."

Jesus then reminds His disciples that in that day they won't have to ask about His return and reminds them/us  to pray.  We are reminded to ask fully and confidently, and we shall receive fully and abundantly when we ask to God's glory and for Christ's interest in the  world.  We are reminded as J C Ryle says, that "the joy of a believer depends much on his fervency and earnestness in prayer.  He that prays little and coldy must not expect to know much of 'joy and peace in believing.'"  John Gerhard says about these verses, "The benefit of prayer is so great that it cannot be expressed!  Prayer is the dove which, when sent out, returns again, bringing with it the olive-leaf, namely peace of heart.  Prayer is the golden chain which God holds fast and lets not go until He blesses.  Prayer is the Moses' rod, which brings forth the water of consolation out of the rock of salvation.  Prayer is Samson's jaw-bone, which smites down our enemies.  Prayer is David's harp, before which the evil spirit flies.  Prayer is the key to Heaven's treasures."

We are promised that we will have suffering, trial and sorrow on this earth.  The path will be tough.  Our faith, as the disciples faith, may be weak, but like them we must be encouraged to let our labors drive us closer to Christ and to look to Him more in prayer, for He loves to hear and answer.  In the meantime we look towards the end of our labor as we look towards Christ's return to this earth or our return to Him, a day when all sorrow shall cease.  What a day that will be!  As Revelation 7 says, "After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands,  and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!”  And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures, and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God,  saying, “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen.”

Then one of the elders addressed me, saying, “Who are these, clothed in white robes, and from where have they come?”  I said to him, “Sir, you know.” And he said to me, “These are the ones coming out of the great tribulation. They have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.

 “Therefore they are before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple;  and he who sits on the throne will shelter them with his presence.  They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore;

 the sun shall not strike them,  nor any scorching heat.  For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd,  and he will guide them to springs of living water,  and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”

Joy in Suffering

Philippians 4:4-9  "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ..."

 James 1:2-4  " Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,  for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

We are told in the Bible we are to rejoice in everything, even hard times.  There are many things we endure in life from the years of teasing of a sibling, the chronic toothache or arthritis,  difficulties in a marriage and so many more.  Some things we put up with, some we endure and some we even endure with patience, but to endure with joy  seems to be something much more difficult.  Enduring with joy seems to me something that is only brought on through trial.  I think of three people when I think of enduring with joy.  The first was a brother in Christ in my church, Joe, who is now home in  glory.  Before he was diagnosed with cancer and during that trial he always exuded a peaceful, quiet, and joyful spirit.  Even in his times of sure pain those could be seen on his face when he spoke of the Lord and knowing he was where God would have him be.

The second is Joni Eareckson Tada, a woman older than I who has paralyzed from the neck down when in her teens and later in life developed breast cancer.  The story of her life is one of growing in her faith and seeing how her paralysis was not about herself but about God's purposes.  Many is the life she has influenced as she has shared the great joy she has in the Lord.

The third, is a man brought to faith on the mission field where my family served when I was young.  I keep this picture of Araiah on my mantle so I am always reminded of what he went through and how he always radiated joy.  When he converted he faced immediate persecution the like of which we can only imagine.  His fields were burned, attempts made to get his wife to desert him, animals killed, beatings, and imprisonment.  During this time he prayed for persecution if God would use that to bring the people to Himself (50 years later there is still great persecution and church growth in that land).  In the most horrible of dungeon experiences he could be heard singing God's praises and speaking of Him to his captive audience.   When released he fell face down to the ground and with tears running down his face rejoiced that he had been counted worthy to suffer for the name of Christ.   When facing a firing squad, after four friends had been shot, with joy on his face he informed his captors that all they could do to him was to send him to his glorious home, but to know he had the blood of Christ on him and that would be on them.  He was left to live.    In all the time I knew him I remembered this face, for despite extreme suffering his eyes shown forth his joy.  I can look at that face and see Christ.  Oh that one day it might be said of me that the joy of Christ shown behind all the sorrows and pains!

I am not a theologian, but I think I can safely say that deep seated abounding joy in affliction, comes in the affliction.  It is not something that is just flung over us.  It requires searching the Scripture, being constant in prayer and growth in the knowledge of who our God is as He is the author of true joy.  It comes from an in-depth knowledge of where your hope lies.  As the Heidelberg Catechism says, when asked, "What is your only comfort in life and death? A. That I am not my own, but belong with body and soul, both in life and in death, to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with His precious blood, and has set me free from all the power of the devil. He also preserves me in such a way that without the will of my heavenly Father not a hair can fall from my head; indeed, all things must work together for my salvation. Therefore, by His Holy Spirit He also assures me of eternal life and makes me heartily willing and ready from now on to live for Him."

John Piper says:   I have never heard anyone say, "The deepest and rarest and most satisfying joys of my life have come in times of extended ease and earthly comfort." Nobody says that. It isn't true. What's true is what Samuel Rutherford said when he was put in the cellars of affliction: "The Great King keeps his wine there"—not in the courtyard where the sun shines. What's true is what Charles Spurgeon said: "They who dive in the sea of affliction bring up rare pearls."

I have finished one of the most gruesome chemotherapy experiences I have had yet.  My blood counts are finally rising, and though very weak and tired, I see the light at the end of the tunnel.  If the counts are high enough this Wednesday I begin all over again.   I do ask for ease of symptoms this time around and for safety from side effects, but mostly I ask that I might learn more of abundant joy!

Dysphoria

The week of chemo is done and I have lived through it.  It is hard being on the patient side of things in a hospital when you have worked in one as long as I have (though I must say they treated me well).  I tolerated the first two days well, but it rapidly went downhill from there. Probably the worst part was how I react  to medicines use to control chemo and pain symptoms  I feel like many people take the drugs and feel rather euphoric;  what I felt was the opposite.  "Dysphoia" I think is a proper word though its meaning doesn't cover what I felt.  I felt like a zombie half in and half out of reality.  That is one of the worst things to feel.

I had some very pleasant visitors and interactions though who helped me along the way.  It got me to thinking of what a visitor can do when visiting a "zombie" patient such as I and how I could occupy my mind when I couldn't read or crochet.  The first few days I was rather alert and had a wonderful visit from my pastor.  I was quite alert at that point and gained much peace from his visit.  His wife came on one if my bad days.  When she saw I was useless in communication she didn't give up but asked if she could read to my from my Bible.   I'll admit I zoomed in and out as she mostly read verses I had underlined, but it was so wonderful to hear the Word.  When my children visited they talked to me when I was alert, but continued to talk to each other when I was out of it.  It gave me a sense of peace to hear them.  Friends and family sent me cards,  e-mails and phone calls (but were very sensitive to when I was fading).  When my children were there, they read the cards and e-mails to me.  I hope some of you are encouraged to visit when someone needs it and not worry about what to say.  Take your Bible along.

This week has been tough as my blood counts have dropped dangerously low.  Some of the chemo affects are gone, but new ones start.   Fighting a fever this weekend, I've praying that I can stay out of the hospital.  Lord willing, the counts will soon start up and the mouth ulcers will ease.  As I mumbled an incoherent prayer to God for myself, I realized that He knew what I needed before I asked.  That reminded me that I had lots of friends to pray for, so I began to barrage the Throne with prayers for these folks:  for those suffering the loss of a dear one.  for those trying to get help for a special need, for marital problems, for those who do not know the Lord and then I was able to start thinking of everyone I know and praying for whatever needs they might have.  Many times I feel asleep, but  knew that God know I'd be back.  It didn't take focus or steady hands to pray.

I found a good article by J.C. Ryle on prayers

             

          Taking Everything to God in Prayer — J.C. Ryle

           

We live in a world where sorrow abounds. This has always been its state since sin came in. There cannot be sin without sorrow. And till sin is driven out from the world, it is vain for any one to suppose he can escape sorrow.

Some without doubt have a larger cup of sorrow to drink than others. But few are to be found who live long without sorrows or cares of one sort or another. Our bodies, our property, our families, our children, our relations, our servants, our friends, our neighbours, our worldly callings, each and all of these are fountains of care. Sicknesses, deaths, losses, disappointments, partings, separations, ingratitude, slander, all these are common things. We cannot get through life without them. Some day or other they find us out. The greater are our affections the deeper are our afflictions, and the more we love the more we have to weep.

And what is the best receipt for cheerfulness in such a world as this? How shall we get through this valley of tears with least pain? I know no better receipt than the habit of taking everything to God in prayer.

This is the plain advice that the Bible gives, both in the Old Testament and in the New. What says the Psalmist ?” Call upon me in the day of trouble and I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.” (Psalm 1.15.) “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.” (Psalm lv. 22.) ‘What says the apostle Paul? “Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God, and the peace of God which passeth all understanding shall keep your, hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Phil. iv. 6, 7.) What says the apostle James ?” Is any afflicted among you? let him pray.”

This was the practice of all the saints whose history we have recorded in the Scriptures. This is what Jacob did when he feared his brother Esau. This is what Moses did when the people were ready to stone him in the wilderness. This is what Joshua did when Israel was defeated before Ai. This is what David did when he was in danger at Keilah. This is what Hezekiah did when he received the letter from Sennacherib. This is what the Church did when Peter was put in prison. This is what Paul did when he was cast into the dungeon at Philippi.

The only way to be really happy in such a world as this, is to be ever casting all our cares on God. It is the trying to carry their own burdens which so often makes believers sad. If they will only tell their troubles to God, He will enable them to bear them as easily as Samson did the gates of Gaza. If they are resolved to keep them to themselves, they will find one day that the very grasshopper is a burden.

There is a friend ever waiting to help us if we will only unbosom to Him our sorrow,—a friend who pitied the poor, and sick, and sorrowful, when He was upon earth,—a friend who knows the heart of man, for He lived thirty-three years as a man amongst us,—a friend who can weep with the weepers, for He was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief,—a friend who is able to help us, for their never was earthly pain He could not cure. That friend is Jesus Christ. The way to be happy is to be always opening our hearts to Him. . .

Jesus can make those happy who trust Him and call on Him, whatever be their outward condition. He can give them peace of heart in a prison,—contentment in the midst of poverty, —comfort in the midst of bereavements,—joy on the brink of the grave. There is a mighty fulness in Him for all His believing members, —a fulness that is ready to be poured out on every one that will ask in prayer. Oh! that men would understand that happiness does not depend on outward circumstances, but on the state of the heart.

Prayer can lighten crosses for us however heavy. It can bring down to our side one who will help us to bear them. Prayer can open a door for us when our way seems hedged up. It can bring down one who will say, “This is the way, walk in it.” Prayer can let in a ray of hope when all our earthly prospects seem darkened. It can bring down one who will say, “I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.” Prayer can obtain relief for us when those we love most are taken away, and the world feels empty. It can bring down one who can fill the gap in our hearts with Himself, and say to the waves within, “Peace, be still.” Oh! that men were not so like Hagar in the wilderness, blind to the well of living waters close beside them!

Refuge

One of the distressing consequences of the last two months of chemotherapy was missing many church services.  It was so wonderful this past Sunday to once again sit in church and to fellowship with my family in Christ.  I know we go to church  because we are told to not neglect the meeting together of the saints and we are told as a body of Christ that we are to go, not because of what church does for us, but because we are called to worship God Almighty.  However, I realized again this Sunday, that there is a wonderful reciprocal blessing in going to the house of God as it is such a wonderful refuge.  The call to worship was from one of my favorite Psalms, Psalm 46, which speaks of God being our refuge and strength.  One of the hymns was another favorite, O the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus.

              O the deep, deep love of Jesus!  Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free;

              Rolling as a mighty ocean in its fullness over me.

              Underneath me, all around me, is the current of thy love;

              leading onward, leading homeward, to thy glorious rest above.

Then there was the message about the church in Corinth being used to teach us that all our joys and all our sufferings, all the things that weigh down our hearts are given resolution and meaning in Christ as the focus becomes about Him and not us.        

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

It was a special refuge this past Sunday, surrounded by family in Christ, after an especially stressful week.  The week was weighed with decisions that I did not want to make.  The decision about whether to go along with the MD Anderson doctors and pursue a new chemotherapy regimen followed by possible surgery was hard to make as every part of my being cried out against doing it.  However, I (as well as many reading this) prayed for wisdom and I did feel that my oncologist's encouragement to give it a try was wise.  I am getting used to the idea, but must say that I continue to dread it.  I am saddened by the fact that the second treatment will be finishing when my first grandbaby will be arriving.  (My daughter-in-law, reminded me however, that it might make it easier to recover having the little one to hold and cuddle!)  As things stand now, I will have a port put in this Friday and probably go into the hospital next Wednesday for five days of treatment.

I'll admit to discouragement and shedding of tears during the past week as I contemplated the options.  Knowing what is coming and having been down the path twice already is not helpful.  In my discouragement I have found myself asking God "why?"  "Why can't the path be clearer?"  "Why can't the treatment be easier?"  "Why can't there be more certainty?"  "Why does life have to be so hard for the children when they are so young?"  And, of course, "Why must I go through this?"  I can remember asking like questions when my husband went through three years of cancer before being taken to glory in 2006.  It was not, and is not, for me a questioning of God's wisdom or right to allow this path, but simply wishing I had an explanation.  I didn't get a lot of answers at the time of my husband's illness, but have seen many answers since.   I'm sure even more answers will be obvious when I reach the glorious shore.   That gives me hope and reminds me that God's ways are perfect ways, that His purposes will be fulfilled and it will all be for the best.  In the meantime I will take refuge in the house of God as often as I can.

As I struggled this past week, I took up re-rereading a wonderful book on God's purposes in suffering.  It is called When God Weeps by Joni Eareckson Tada and Steve Estes.  I highly recommend the book.  It is written by someone whose suffering was so much more than any of us can even imagine, someone who also asked "why" and found some wonderful answers in looking first to who God is.  The book brings the focus of suffering away from me and shows that it is about God.  In answer to why the authors say in part,

              

              First, ..God's plan calls for all Christians to suffer sometimes intensely....

             

              Second, God's plan is specific.  He doesn't say, "Into each life a little rain must fall," then

              aim a hose in earth's general direction and see who gets the wettest.  He doesn't reach

              for a key, wind up nature with its sunny days and hurricanes, then sit back and watch

              the show.  He doesn't let Satan prowl about totally unrestricted.  He doesn't believe in

              a hands-off policy of governing.  He's not our planet's absent landlord.  Rather, he

              screens the trials that come to each of us--allowing only those that accomplish his good

              plan, because he takes no joy in human agony. These trials aren't evenly distributed

              from person to person.  This can discourage us, for we are not privy to his reasons.

              But in God's wisdom and love, every trial in a Christian's life is ordained  from eternity

              past, custom-made for that believer's eternal good, even when it doesn't seem like it. 

              Nothing happens by accident....not even tragedy...not even sins committed against us.

             

              Third, the core of his plan is to rescue us from our sin....

             

              Last, every sorrow we taste will one day prove to be the best possible thing that could

              have happened.  We will thank God endlessly in heaven for the trials he sent us here.

I recall my pastor once saying that it is ok to ask God "why," and I know that is true.  However, I am becoming more and more convinced that the answers to those questions are simply too big to understand in the here and now.  I don't think I am capable of comprehending the magnitude of why the loving, all-knowing, holy, merciful God would have me go down this path today.  All He gives me in answers for today is His assurance that He is "my refuge and my strength" and that ALL He does is good.  I know one day when I reach my eternal home I will be able to say, "Thank you Lord for allowing that in my life" and I will rejoice as His plan and purposes are unfolded.

Another daughter-in-law, shared a song last week that said a great deal about how I was feeling.

A Song for the Suffering - Shane & Shane and John Piper (http://vimeo.com/71765067 -to listen to it)

I come, God, I come

I return to the Lord

The one who’s broken

The one who’s torn me apart

You strike down to bind me up

You say you do it all in love

That I might know you in your suffering

Though you slay me

Yet I will praise you

Though you take from me

I will bless your name

Though you ruin me

Still I will worship

Sing a song to the one who’s all I need

My heart and flesh may fail

The earth below give way

But with my eyes, with my eyes I’ll see the Lord

Lifted high on that day

Behold, the Lamb that was slain

And I’ll know every tear was worth it all

Though you slay me

Yet I will praise you

Though you take from me

I will bless your name

Though you ruin me

Still I will worship

Sing a song to the one who’s all I need

Though tonight I’m crying out

Let this cup pass from me now

You’re still more than I need

You’re enough for me

You’re enough for me

[Not only is all your affliction momentary, not only is all your affliction light in comparison to eternity and the glory there. But all of it is totally meaningful. Every millisecond of your pain, from the fallen nature or fallen man, every millisecond of your misery in the path of obedience is producing a peculiar glory you will get because of that.

I don’t care if it was cancer or criticism. I don’t care if it was slander or sickness. It wasn’t meaningless. It’s doing something! It’s not meaningless. Of course you can’t see what it’s doing. Don’t look to what is seen.

When your mom dies, when your kid dies, when you’ve got cancer at 40, when a car careens into the sidewalk and takes her out, don’t say, “That’s meaningless!” It’s not. It’s working for you an eternal weight of glory.

Therefore, therefore, do not lose heart. But take these truths and day by day focus on them. Preach them to yourself every morning. Get alone with God and preach his word into your mind until your heart sings with confidence that you are new and cared for.]

Though you slay me

Yet I will praise you

Though you take from me

I will bless your name

Though you ruin me

Still I will worship

Sing a song to the one who’s all I need

Sing a song to the one who’s all I need