In His Hands

And all the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing: and he doeth according to his will in the army of heaven, and among the inhabitants of the earth: and none can stay his hand, or say unto him, What doest thou?  Daniel 4:35

This past week I saw my local oncologist and received the results of my most recent follow-up scans.   The scan of my lungs showed no cancer!  The scan of the lower left leg shows a continued 6 mm mass that is presumed to be the sarcoma.  I expected that as I have felt the nodule on the side of the radiated leg and had more swelling in it for a couple of weeks.   The good news is that it appears to be the same size as it was when first seen on scans six months ago.  Not as good is the fact that I can now palpate it.  Because it is on the radiated leg and I have had very serious healing problems when even a biopsy is done there, we made the decision to do repeat scans in three months unless it appears to be growing more rapidly before then.  At the point it is confirmed to be aggressively growing again (there or elsewhere) I hope to pursue a new immunotherapy treatment that has shown some very promising results at stalling the growth of several types of cancer with few side effects.  There is apparently no good way of ascertaining spread in the hip area where I had surgery last due to the rod causing artifact on scans.  While I do have some pain there, it is hopefully what is expected considering all the exercise I am doing to strengthen my leg muscles.  Overall, my strength is increasing every day and I feel better than I have in years!  For that I give God the praise!

What is most amazing is that I have complete peace despite the uncertainty of the results.  Even in my trying to rememorize Romans 8 this past week, I am reminded that I am chosen to be a child of God and as such am the recipient of His incomprehensible love, mercy and forgiveness.  I cannot imagine not being at peace when I keep my eyes fixed on the fact that my God has immeasurable power, is sovereign over all things, and has abounding grace and mercy.  I revel in the knowledge that the same God who has the nations in His hands also has control over the duplication of cancer cells in my body and know there is no better place to rest.  The days behind are gone, never to be relived.  He has granted me today and perhaps more tomorrows!  For that I give Him the glory and aim and hope to please Him in my use of each of them.

Thy mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens; and thy faithfulness reacheth unto the clouds.  Thy righteousness is like the great mountains; thy judgments are a great deep: O Lord, thou preservest man and beast.   How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings.   They shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house; and thou shalt make them drink of the river of thy pleasures.  For with thee is the fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light.  O continue thy lovingkindness unto them that know thee; and thy righteousness to the upright in heart.   Let not the foot of pride come against me, and let not the hand of the wicked remove me.  There are the workers of iniquity fallen: they are cast down, and shall not be able to rise.  Psalm 36: 5-9