Thursday, November 7, 2013

Sweet Incense



"And another angel came and stood at the altar with a golden censer, and he was given much incense to offer with the prayers of all the saints on the golden altar before the throne,  and the smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, rose before God from the hand of the angel.  Revelation 8: 3,4

I am waiting the results of a PET scan I had this week.  I see my local oncologist next week and hope to make decisions about further treatment based on our visit and those results.  In the meantime, too many long nights have made this blog too long.

Below is a letter and poem written by Samuel Rutherford to Marion M'Naught, born in 1585 in Scotland.  It was said of her, "Above everything else, Marion M'Naught was a woman of prayer, and in her heart there burned a passionate concern for the welfare of Christ's church and for a revival of true religion in the land."  Samuel Rutherford said of her, "Faint not, keep breath, , believe;  howbeit men, and husband, and friends prove weak, yet your strength faileth not...It is your glory to lay hold on your Rock.  O woman greatly beloved!  I testify and avouch it in my Lord, that the prayers ye sent to heaven these many years by gone are come up before the Lord, and shall not be forgotten...The bride will yet sing, as in the days of her youth."

O woman greatly loved,
Your prayers are heard on high;
God reads the language of your tears,
And marks the earnest sigh.
Firm is the Rock to which you cleave,
Faint not, keep breath and still believe.

So shall your bow abide
Unshaken in its strength.
Hold fast in faith, though all prove weak
Or weary grow at length.
The field is lost if you should fail
But well-placed hope must soon prevail.

For prayers that rise to God,
Though many years pass by,
Remembered still, wait near His throne,
Beneath His kindly eye.
The God of glory must fulfill
His faithful promises and will.

And mercy shall come down:
For though the bush may burn,
Yet unconsumed it still remains,
Till Christ in mercy turn,
And by His Spirit's quickening breath
Raise up His bride from dust and death.

And she shall sing once more
As in her youthful days,
High songs of praise to her fair King,
While men in wonder gaze.
Then shall the olive bud again
And all Christ's enemies be slain.

To Marion M'Naught  (Aberdeen, 1637)

What a blessed thing to be said about a person!  I will admit that I somewhat envy what Samuel Rutherford was able to say of this woman, and I hope it is not too late for me to become like her in prayer.  Reading this and knowing of the fervent prayers sent out by others for me, as well as thinking on my own prayer life, has given me the desire to blog about some things I think are important in prayer.    

I hesitate to focus on  intercessory prayer, where my thoughts have been running, as that is such a small part of prayer.  I am reminded of the importance of remembering who you are praying to.  Our God is a holy God who sits on the throne above.  He is able to do far above all we ask or think.  On top of that He will always do what is for our good and His glory (Romans 8:18).  He loves us with a love we cannot begin to comprehend and He has promised to hear us, His lowly creatures.  He has also told us how to pray.  So often our prayers are primarily intercessory, but, as taught in the Lord's Prayer and elsewhere we are to worship and adore Him in prayer and give Him gratitude due to His name.  We are to pray for His name to be made holy and His kingdom to come.  However, when we do intercede there are some things that I think are important.  We need to....

Pray fervently.  One of my favorite parables in the Bible and one frequently recalled to God in my prayers is that of the widow and the judge in Luke 18.  The point is that the judge finally does what the widow asks because she keeps badgering him.  As it says in verse 7 And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? This is Jesus, Himself, encouraging us to pray fervently.  One prayer is not enough. God says our prayers rise as incense to Heaven where the Holy Spirit makes intercession for us (Romans 8: 22 - 27) whether our prayers are words or groans.

Pray patiently.  Never give up on prayer.  I'll admit to a couple times when I gave up after praying for someone for many years.  Amazingly, long after I gave up hope they became totally new persons in Christ.  I was so ashamed that I had quit praying, but delighted that God still answered. For two years my family has daily prayed for a pastor from a country where there is a great deal of persecution after he ended up separated in another country while his family was left behind.  This family had to endure much.  I believe that from the time we found out about the situation that one of the family members or myself never neglected to pray for this pastor and his family on a daily basis.  God did not work in our time (though we did ask...in His will) but two years later is seeing fit to let them be rejoined.  Another man, a friend who had recently married, went to prison on a twelve year sentence for a mistake that would not have been a problem except for felonies from his youth of sin.  For nine years my children have not let family devotions go by without praying for Harvey and for him to be paroled.  God did not answer as we hoped for all those years, but He is answering within the next month as the parole process has started.  In the meantime a reformed Bible study was started weekly in the prison and his testimony has been passed onto many.  God knew the timing was not right until now.

Pray frequently.  Whether morning, noon or night; whether in family devotions, a prayer group or by yourself;  whether on your knees, driving (with your eyes open), or cleaning your toilet, there is no wrong time to pray.  God does not need our prayers in order to answer, but He asks for them and even commands them, so it is a means He uses.  My sister once told me to not worry about the times she woke up in the night, because she figured God wanted her awake to pray.  A good friend just the other day told me that whenever she wakens at night she prays for me.  What a blessing to hear!

Pray for yourself.  Pray especially that you might grow in the knowledge of God.  Pray that you use every moment to His glory.  Pray that He convict you of your sin (that's a hard one you need to mean).  Pray that He use you in the life of others.  Pray that you will always accept His will.   "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need!" Hebrews 4:16.  Pray when you are needy and when you are full.  Always give Him the praise He deserves.  Pray about the sin that so easily besets you.

Pray for individuals.  Pray for your spouse, your children, and the rest of your family daily.  Pray WITH your spouse and your children daily.  It's hard to fight with a spouse you've just prayed for and hard to speak in anger to a child if you've stopped to pray yourself before responding.   When you are pregnant (or before) is none too early to be praying that God might know your child even in your womb and even be praying that He might be preparing a godly spouse for them. Pray for your loved ones who don't know the Lord.  Remember it is not you or what you do that saves them, but the Holy Spirit, and remember that it is never too late to pray until they're in the grave.  Pray for your enemies or those you dislike.  God doesn't tell you to like them, but He does tell you to pray for them and do good to them.  It may be years later that you find that your attitude was what was used to turn them to the Lord. And, maybe you will never know, but God still will have heard those prayers.  Pray for people in the church and friends who are struggling.  Pray for the ones where you don't know of any struggles and pray for their spiritual growth.  But, don't stop with praying with individuals.

Pray for your church body and the church throughout the world.  God works in individuals and cares for individuals without any doubt, but God's goal on this earth is not so much to bring a bunch of separate individuals to Heaven, but to bring a perfected body of Christ.  The lady of prayer in the poem above was known to fervently pray and fast especially for revival and growth in the church as well as the land of Scotland.  Years back several ladies met with me weekly and we interceded for all the needs we knew, but we especially prayed for our local church, for its perfecting, spiritual growth and for the leaders of the church.    We saw many answers and I am ashamed to say I too often neglect that today.  I find out about problems in the church and have to ask myself when the last time I prayed about that issue.  Pray for the marriages, the homes, the jobs, the spiritual life, the children growing into adults, the parents struggling to raise children.  Pray that God would give your leaders wisdom, courage, boldness and soundness of doctrine.  Pray that they might be given the time they need to be with their families as they often sacrifice much, but also pray that God would give their families the grace and patience to uplift and assist them in what God has called them to do.  Pray that they might see what needs to be done to make the church one that is pleasing to God, as is said of the church in Philadelphia in Revelation 2, and have the courage to initiate that.  Pray for your pastor as he prepares his messages and as he leads his flock.  Pray that your church doors might be filled with those who desire to worship God as He is and then that you would have to figure out how to afford a bigger church.  Pray for churches you don't know that pastors might not lead their flock astray, but might know God and His word more and more every day.  Pray for your missionaries who carry out your work.  Pray for the persecuted church and the church throughout the world.  But, don't stop with praying for the church.

Pray for your nation and the world.  My son read Psalm 119 verse 136 the other night, "136 My eyes shed streams of tears,  because people do not keep your law."   As he read, I wondered when the last time was that I had streams of tears, because of Christians and non-Christians profaning and sinning against the holy God.  Again I was ashamed that my prayers do not daily go to praying about the sin in my nation; the things that I know are an affront to my Holy God.  The things that have become so common that they get pushed back where I can't, or rather won't,  see them.  How often do I pray that God would work in the hearts of our leaders?  More especially, how often do I pray that God would turn the hearts of His people back to Himself where Christianity is more than a tag to wear and more than a one-day-a-week profession as we know that restoration will come when God's people are pleasing to the Lord?

Pray in His will.  Does God always answer our prayers?  Yes.  Is it always in the time we think? No, and I daresay, not usually.  Is it always the answer we want?  No, but I know it is the best answer because that is what He has promised. The point is He only knows what is absolutely best for us and His glory.  When my children pray in family devotions for my healing, I silently add "your will be done."  Is it because I don't want to be healed?  Oh my, NO.  I would give great glory to God for that miracle.  However, do I think God commonly works in healing miracles today?  No, I don't.  I do however know that I am safe in praying that if God wills He heal me, but above all else that whether He heal, prolong my life or take me shortly to my eternal home that it will be all to His glory.  Who am I to try to determine His will? 

Continue earnestly in prayer  (James Smith, "The Pastor's Evening Visit")

"Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving." Colossians 4:2

Prayer is always necessary, and it is always profitable. In prayer . . .
  we do homage to the perfections of God,
  we exercise faith on His omnipresence,
  we express our dependence on Him for our supplies,
  we evince the sincerity of our profession,
  we acknowledge our poverty and weakness,
  we unburden the mind of our secret trials,
  we give vent to our feelings of joy and sorrow, of gratitude and grief,
  we give utterance to our desires, and spread our case before the Lord,
  we . . .
    confess our sins,
    acknowledge our backslidings,
    and obtain pardon and restoring grace.
Prayer is the medium of communication between God and our souls:
   We communicate our thoughts, feelings, fears, and desires.
   He communicates light, strength, comfort, and grace to us.
Prayer is a very important duty; it is a great privilege.
Prayer should be  constant,   fervent,   believing,   hopeful, and   incessant.

God loves it, Satan hates it, and every true Christian values it.
We should be always in a praying frame--though we cannot be always in a praying posture.
True prayer is always  necessary,  profitable and  acceptable to God.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Bitterness and The Baby



Heb. 12:  15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled...
Eph. 4: 15 -16, 31 - 32 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,  from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.
 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.


As I wrote this, waiting for my visit to MD Anderson, I had been thinking a great deal about choices I have in dealing with a bad prognosis, if that is what I should face.  I could become bitter as so often in life we become bitter over the place we are given.  I have definitely been there in the past.  When I was young I just knew that God wanted me to be a missionary's wife and a nurse.  Obviously that is not what I became.  For years, as I struggled in my  "ordinary" role, I fought bitterness and  envy as I "knew" I could be doing great things for God on the mission field.  It took me years to realize that God had given me my own mission field with my husband, family and work right where I was.  Through eleven years of infertility I once again allowed the root of bitterness to take hold as I begged God to allow me to become a mother.  I allowed bitterness to creep in when I had to continue working instead of being a stay-at-home mom.   I am embarrassed when I think back to how often the root of bitterness crept into my life and how it took literally years to even understand that it was bitterness, was my sin, was wasting my God-given time and needed to be repented of.  I will always remember my pastor in giving marital counseling to my husband and I, kindly telling me that I was "gunnysacking."  What a shock it was to me to realize that I (as I think many women especially are prone to do) was carrying my imaginary bag on my back full of my husband's wrongs against me.  He dealt with issues by getting angry and it was over;  I would shut up and throw it in my sack to pull out at a later date.

I share my humbling admissions because I've been thinking a great deal lately about how easy it is to let resentment build up in our lives until it eats away at our insides.  All the while we so often don't see it for what it is for years and sometimes a lifetime.  I have watched in friends as this bitterness destroyed marriages and homes.  I have watched it tear apart a church, split up families and ruin friendships.  I have watched it used as an excuse to escape into other sins such as drugs, adultery and alcohol.  I have seen grown adults still holding onto what they consider a wrongdoing in their childhood and using it as an excuse for their failures as an adult.  I've had friends who went into severe depression because they could not understand the "unfairness" of their health problems, marriage problems or financial problems. Personally, I think bitterness is at the root of many other sins, only it is harder to recognize.  With myself, I went years before I even understand stood that bitterness was eating at my soul.

Bitterness is something that creeps in and can reside for years with a person unaware that it is tearing at their being.  It seems that at the root of this bitterness is usually either our resentment of where God has put us in life and comparing it to others, or a perceived (or real) sin committed against us.  It would be easy for me to resent the place my siblings have attained in their lives compared to mine.  It would be easy for me to envy my healthy friends who are not fighting cancer.   It would be easy to resent those who are more financially secure.  It would be easy, but it would also be very detrimental to my soul's well being.  When I think of the years that I wasted on bitterness, not even knowing that is what it was, I am saddened.  I have prayed God would always make me aware if that sets in again before the root takes off and grows.

As I sit holding my beautiful little granddaughter, Tegan, I am reminded that there is another way to face a bad prognosis.  I am awed by the perfection with which she is put together.  Her tiny little fingers and toes, her hearing that makes her turn her head when she hears her Mom or Dad, her beautiful eyes roaming the room, not to mention the way her body functions as a whole.  It reminds me of
I Corinthians chapter 12 where it talks of us all being part of one body as Christians and all essential despite what our function is.  No part is less important than another.  I know this primarily refers to the gifts God gives us, but I think it can also apply to where God has put us in life.  Just as God did not want me to be a professor or scientist such as some of my siblings, God did not determine that I should be left with a healthy body for my entire life.  The plan He had and has for me is perfect.  The part of the body of Christ that I am is no less important than any other in God's eyes. I've experienced enough bitterness in my own life and wasted enough years on it that I ask God to protect me against it now. 

I am back from the Houston cancer center and despite a comedy of errors was able to get most tests done and see the doctor.  We are waiting on the radiologist reading of the two scans  I had there, but from looking at them himself, that oncologist sees no improvement, but no definitive worsening except for one enlarged lymph gland which may or may not be related.  His recommendation is still surgery or, as an option some chemo pills that are being used in a study.  He definitely feels I should not keep up the chemo I was doing due to some neurological problems I was, and am, having.  Today I called my local oncologist, who is a godsend.  In two minutes she determined that we need to do another PET scan as the last one showed possible spread to the iliac bone and as it should show if the lymph node that is enlarged is related.  This would make a tremendous impact on decisions that I have to make so I am very grateful.

I am so thankful for the many who read this and take it to the Lord in prayer.  I have seen the answers as the prayers, as incense, go up to Him!  He hears and He will continue to give wisdom and bring glory to His name.  In the meantime,  I will be satisfied with the place He has placed me in and leave any bitterness behind!

Your present trial (from Grace Gems -(James Smith, "Comfort for Christians!")

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose!" Romans 8:28

All things? Yes! Everything that happens to the Christian is directed and overruled by God's special Providence for his good! The experience may be very bitter--it may lay him very low and try him to the core; it may keep him in the dust for a long time. But it will do him good--not only in the end, but while it lasts.

Believer, your present trial is for your good. Nothing could be better for you! You may not see it now; you may even feel as if you never could think so--but the time is coming when you will bless God for it.

You love God--and God loves you with an infinite and eternal love. You came to the cross as a poor sinner--and you looked to the Lord Jesus to be your perfect Savior. This proves that you have been called according to God's purpose. You are one of God's beloved ones, and as such--you may have the assurance that all things . . .
  light and darkness,
  health and sickness,
  hatred and love,
  prosperity and adversity,
  life and death--
will work together for your good!

Dark clouds bring rich blessings--and sharp winters introduce fruitful springs. Even so, sore troubles often precede the sweetest consolations. Your present affliction--whether it is . . .
  sickness of body,
  trouble of mind,
  bereavements,
  losses,
  crosses, or
  whatever else
--is working for your good. It will work for good in the future, and it is working for good now. While your heart is bleeding, and you are tempted to think that all is against you--all is working together for your good!

Dear Lord, I do not see how my affliction can be good for me. But help me, Lord, to accept it as such by faith--so that I may receive what You have for me through it.

"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope!" Romans 5:3-4

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Providence



When the light of divine providence has once shone upon a godly man, he is then relieved and set free not only from the extreme anxiety and fear that were pressing him before, but from every care.  John Calvin

We believe in the providence of God, but we do not believe half enough in it.  Charles Spurgeon

I love the second quote by Charles Spurgeon!  It seems that it is in times of trial, or after, that we see God's providence most clearly.  That certainly has been true in my case.  As I thought over my last blog, I thought how sad it is that it took me so many years and so many God-ordained trials to be at peace with the knowledge that God would supply my every need and that He was using those trials for my growth as well as the perfecting of the body of Christ.  It is sad that I spent so many years looking at my trials only from my "self" perspective.  I saw my financial problems, my health problems, difficulties in my marriage and so many other difficulties as  trials put upon me for no purpose.   What a sin against God Almighty to not see that all the trials were from His hand, even though I could not see their reason.   I have recently been re-reading The Mystery of Providence by a Puritan, John Flavel.  It is not a fast read, which is probably good as it makes me read things several times.  There is  much wonderful reflection in this book on God's providence and I highly recommend it.

One of my favorite Bible characters is Joseph and he is always first in my mind when I think of providence.  Every time I read the story I am struck by more ways that providence was at work in and through his life.  I imagine that Joseph's perspective was much different than what we see when we are able to look back on the whole story from God's perspective.  Everything from his brothers hatred, his dreams,  the decision to sell him instead of kill him, the lusting of Potiphar's wife, his being forgotten in prison and so much more was all in God's magnificent plan, not only for Joseph's good, but especially for that of His people.  Joseph went through many years of being treated "unfairly" while he was doing his best to honor God.  As far as we know he did not know of God's plan until many many years into his life when his brothers came back to get food from him.  God used every bit of Joseph's life to save His people from certain death.

Esther is another who strikes me as a great example of God's providence:  from the banishing of Queen Vashti by the king, the recommendation of those around him to bring forth virgins to choose from for a new queen, to Mordecai's decision to have Esther join the pageant and hide her background. We don't know what was going through Esther's mind as she became queen and strove to honor God despite the risk to her own life.  Not only was Esther saved through her actions, but so were the people of God.

So many others in the Bible, in fact, I daresay all the stories of individuals, in some way portray God's providence.  There are Abraham and Sarah, Isaac, Ruth, Job and Paul who, when you read their stories closely you will see God's hand at work not only in preserving them but using them and their trials for the growth of His kingdom.  It makes an interesting study to look at the stories of individuals in the Bible in view of God's kingdom.  In fact, though theologian I am not, I think perhaps we do a disservice when we look at stories of individuals in the Bible as only that of the individuals. I fear we have become a church that sees itself predominantly as individuals and not as a body.  The Bible is the story of God's kingdom.  Just as that is true, it is true that the trials in our lives are not just about our lives, but about God's work in the Church.  We may never see how our trials are being used, but it is important to know that they involve much more than just ourselves.  Whether it is cancer or another health problem, disability, death of a child or another loved one, being treated wrongly by others, financial difficulties or any other of so many trials we need to focus our eyes past the trial to the One who has control and who will use them in His providence for a much greater goal than we can imagine. Not only does this change our perspective on how we look at our struggles, but how we deal with them.  What a joy to know He is perfecting His bride (yes, even through our trials), the  body of Christ, until the day we will all be joined sinless before the throne singing forth His praises!


In a week I go back to Houston for tests to see if the cancer has stopped or progressed.  I rest confident that if God desires, He is very able to cure the cancer.  However, I also rest assured that if the cancer has progressed (as seems likely to me due to increased pain in the hips and leg) it is only because in His providence He commissioned it to do so for my good and His glory!  I may never know the reason that the cancer has been given to me, but I can know that in God's providence it is not only for my good, but for His glory and the growth of His kingdom.

Thomas Watson (thanks Jes M):  There is kindness in affliction, in that there is no condition so bad but it might be worse.  When it is dusk, it might be darker.  God does not make our cross so heavy as he might: he does not stir up all of his anger (Ps. 78:38).  He does not put so many nails in our yoke, so much wormwood in our cup, as he might.  Does God chastise thy body?  He might torture thy conscience.  Does he cut thee short?  He might cut thee off.  The Lord might make our chains heavier.  Is it a burning fever?  It might have been the burning lake.  Does God use the pruning knife to lop thee?  He might bring his axe to hew thee down.  'The waters were up to the ankles.'  Do the waters of affliction come up to the ankles?  God might make them rise higher; nay,  he might drown thee in the waters.  God uses the rod when he might use the scorpion.

There is kindness on affliction, in that your case is not so bad as others, who are always upon the rack, and spend their years with sighing (Ps. 31:10).  Have you a gentle fit of the ague?  Others cry out of the stone (being stoned) and strangulation. Do you bear the wrath of men?  Others bear the wrath of God.  You have but a single trial:  others have them twisted together.  God shoots but one arrow at you, he shoots a shower of arrows at others.  Is there not kindness in all this?  We are apt to say,  "Never any suffered as we!"  Was it not worse with Lazarus, who was so full of sores that the dogs took pity on him, and licked his sores?  Nay, was it not worse with Christ, who lived poor and died cursed?  May this not cause us to say,  'Thy will be done'?  It is kindness that God deals not so severely with us as with others.

There  is kindness in affliction, in that, if we belong to God, it is all the hell we shall have.  Some have two hells:  they suffer in their body and conscience, which is one hell, and another hell is unquenchable fire.  Judas had two hells, but a child of God has but one.  Lazarus had all his hell here, he was full of sores, but had a convoy of angels to carry him to heaven when he died.  Say, then,  "Lo!  if this be the worse that I have, if this be all my hell, I will patiently acquiesce:  'Thy will be done.'