Christmas and New Year Blessings

I have so much to be grateful for this past year.  God has graciously allowed me to recover from my major surgery a year ago and to hold the cancer back this year.  He has blessed me with a new grand-daughter and brought her through surgery to repair the hole in her heart.  He has given my 97 year old Mother health to bless us with her company another year.  I have been surrounded by my family and we have had precious times together.  Even more than that He has given me peace and joy in Him.  As I left the Christmas Eve church service last night I was thinking of how much God has blessed me.

I love going to church and feel I am quite selfish about it as I get far more out of it then I give back to God.  Since I was diagnosed with cancer and started doing some more in-depth examination of my soul  I find the high point of the church service for me is the benediction.  I'm not sure there is any better definition of a benediction than the "pronouncement of God's blessing at the end of a service."  To me it is extremely encouraging, but also challenging.  When I get ready to leave the service and hear the words from Hebrews 13:20-21, Now the God of peace, who brought up from the dead the great Shepherd of the sheep through the blood of the eternal covenant, even Jesus our Lord, equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen I am reminded of how great God is, how much He loves me, that my task on earth is to do His will and that He gives me everything that I need to do it.

When I am discouraged on a Lord's Day and hear the blessing taken from Numbers 6:24-26, The Lord bless you and keep you: the Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you: the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen I leave feeling overwhelmed that God blesses me and gives me peace.  When things seem hopeless I am reminded of where true hope comes from by the benediction from Romans 15:13, May the God of hope Fill you with all joy and peace in believing, So that you may abound in hope By the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Despite constant failures, I am especially challenged to leave church and spend the week living with the knowledge that I have been given so much by God in the way of His blessing and to live all week as a reflection of Him.  The benediction from Colossians 3:15-17 reminds me of that.  Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.  The benediction that comes from Ephesians 3:16-21 reminds me of what an awesome God I serve.  I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.

Christmas is upon us, the old year is almost gone and a new year about to begin.  I wish for all my dear friends that you might remember with me the birth of Jesus Christ who came in the flesh to save His people from their sins and give them new life.  I wish for you that the sins and neglect of this past year may be wiped out of your sight as well as God's as far as the east is from the west and that you might be renewed in your spirit to live every moment of your life this coming year as one transformed by Christ's work.  May you be blessed and challenged by the benedictions as you leave God's house each Sunday this year!

A Tribute to Two Dear Ladies

At the end of October, I lost my Mother-in-Law after nine months of fighting health issues stemming from a stroke.  One week later the mother of my sister-in-law also passed away.   Sadly this meant some of the family lost two grandmothers and great grandmothers in one week.  Both women had a great love for the Lord and I have no doubt that they are restored whole in Heaven today singing God's praises.

My Mother-in-Law, Joan, was a very sweet, gentle and loving woman.  Her love for the Lord was best seen in her actions. She loved to do for others  and I can't recall her not having a smile on her face.  She seemed to always be "doing" whether it was cleaning, crafting or baking (which she excelled at).   When coming to Texas to visit, she always took it upon herself to do a super cleaning of sinks and the stove.  I think if I had let her she would have taken on the whole house.  Mom B was a far better woman than myself when it came to a non-complaining spirit and no job was above her.  Her family does indeed rise up and call her blessed.

I didn't know Mattie quite as well, but knew her enough to know that she also loved the Lord.  Every time I saw her she was smiling.  She loved to interact with people and kept herself busy doing that.  She struck me as a joyful woman every time I was with her.  Mattie was described at her funeral as an encourager, faithful, content and rich in the things that matter.  I may not get the quote exactly, but her daughter said she would frequently say, "You must give people roses while they are still alive."

It is hard to understand why God chose now to take these two dear women Home, but I know from His Word that the timing was perfect.  I will miss both of them as will the other family members who have been left behind.  On the way home from the funeral last week I was contemplating how ironic it is that I have outlived the human expectation of survival from my cancer, and these two dear ladies were called Home.  I was thinking how my dear mother-in-law loved to make porcelain dolls.  All the granddaughters as well as many other little girls were the recipients of her hard work.  She painstakingly made these dolls.  Though I was never privileged to watch her make them, I know they took a long time and involved many steps including putting all the pieces together, painting and baking.  Often she also made clothes for them.   When something wasn't perfect, she didn't settle for less, but fixed it.  I think she would have liked those dolls to be an illustration of her life.  God did not take her Home until she was finished with what He had planned for her and it was perfect.  For all those years he was busy painting and putting together her life.  When her day came to go to Glory, He was finished working on her and declared her ready.  His work on her and Mattie while on this earth was done as was their work for Him.

Obviously He is not done working on those of us left behind.  These two deaths make me contemplate once again what I am supposed to be doing to grow into a beautiful part of the Bride of Christ and what I am supposed to be completing on this earth.  Joan and Mattie gave in simple ways on this earth, but in ways that reflected their Savior.  Sometimes I am so busy looking for the complex things to do that I miss the simple.  My daily prayer is that I would see and act on the needs around me, speak always with grace and live a self-sacrificing life.  Oh, that God would say "well done" when He has completed His work on me and calls me Home.

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."  Philippians 1:21

Self-centered of Fear

Paul Tripp "I was not created to shrink the size of my life to the size of my felt needs.  If true humanity is bound up in community with God and godly community with God and godly community with others, I will never experience it when all my eyes ever see is my own need."

I have heard a lot of fear expressed lately, particularly with a patient with Ebola flying from Liberia to Dallas.  Not unexpectedly, the authorities had difficulty finding a place willing to accept the exposed family during their incubation period.  That comes from fear.  Some parents are keeping their children out of school where exposed children had attended.  That too comes from  fear.  I wonder if the victim of Ebola  came to the US knowing he had been exposed to the illness because he knew he could get better care here.  We may not ever know, but if so, that was fear.  Surprising to me as a nurse is that I don't hear more fear from parents about the enterovirus D68 which is seriously affecting children throughout the country.  There is also a great deal of fear expressed all around me with every new instance of terrorism throughout the world.

Now, I am not a stranger to fear.  I admit to fearfulness cropping up when I contemplate my dear granddaughter, Olivia, having her heart surgery this Friday morning.  It is hard to imagine her little heart being stopped and the holes sewn up without being fearful.  When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I had to fight a battle with fear.  That fear was not mostly rooted in what was going to happen to me, but had to do with the things I felt I needed to be on this earth to complete (talk about pride!).  However, facing my own fears and seeing that of others makes me aware of how self-centered human fear is.  It comes from only seeing a piece of the puzzle instead of relying on God who sees the whole.

I don't want to minimize fear and anxiety as they are a real part of our lives, and will be until Christ comes again, but they do come from the sin of unbelief.  Fear comes from the self-centeredness, however unintentional, of thinking we are in control; a very frightening thought when you think about it.  Many other sins find their root in anxiety or fearfulness.  Stealing, lying, relationship issues and so many more  find fear at their base.

So, what is the answer?  God tells us in I Peter to humble ourselves under "the mighty hand of God" casting all our cares on Him.  It is hard to be humble because that means acknowledging that there is someone else in control.  But it is also very freeing for it means we know God well enough to know that He will sustain us (Psalm 55:22), give us rest (Matthew 11:28) and work for those who wait for Him (Isaiah 64:4).  We can know, like Job did, that  He can do all things and "... no purpose of His can be thwarted" (Job 42:2).  We cast off our fears by praying and laying them at God's feet (Philippians 4:6).  We cast off fear by realizing that it will get us nowhere as Matthew 6 and 10 tell us.  We cast if off by realizing that the God who watches the sparrow fall and cothes the lillies of the field has all our cares in His hand.  God is never taken by surprise (Psalm 121:4).  He knows what is going to happen and He has even the rulers of the lands in His hands.  The more we grow to know God the less we will fear.

Fighting fear is a constant battle but one that must be fought.  It doesn't mean we don't act responsibly.  As a nurse I would have been a fool to care for patients with infectious diseases without taking proper precautions.  However, it would have been wrong for me to use fear to prevent me from caring for them.  Ebola is almost sure to come to East Texas.  The enterovirus may also.  Terrorism may even strike closer to home.  In the meantime Olivia will have her heart bared open by human hands on Friday, but by hands that are under God's control.  Through all of this I try to remember, as Matthew 5 says, that we ARE the salt of the earth and we ARE the light of the world.  Those who do not know Christ are looking at us especially in times like these.  Fortunately for us, the light that shines from us is simply a reflection of Christ's light in us and we don't have to manufacture it ourselves.  What a testimony that light should be.

Anxieties and the Word

"Great is Thy faithfulness,” O God my Father,

There is no shadow of turning with Thee;

Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not

As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

 “Great is Thy faithfulness!” “Great is Thy faithfulness!”

 Morning by morning new mercies I see;

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—

“Great is Thy faithfulness,” Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,

Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,

Join with all nature in manifold witness

To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,

Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,

Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

The words of this great hymn keep going through my head as I am daily reminded of how great God's mercies have been to me.  His compassions have not failed though I have far too often been beset by anxiety!  How wonderful it is to be reminded that there is no shadow of His changing when I often seem to be like the boat that is tossed in the wind.  He gives me constant reminders in His word and creation of His faithfulness, mercy and love.

The other day as I held my sweet grandchild, Olivia, while reading my Bible  I was becoming distracted thinking of her congenital heart problem, her upcoming heart surgery (hopefully October) and her need to gain more weight.  I was reading in Exodus where God reminds Moses, "Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord?" A perfectly timed reminder to me that God made Olivia just the way He intended her to be.  And God in His infinite mercy has caused her to start gaining weight, though it has its ups and downs.

There have been times in the last couple of months when anxieties about my own sarcoma have risen up and threatened to overtake me, yet even then God's Word brought me relief.  I went through a few weeks when the pain in my reconstructed hip was as severe as it had been before the surgery convincing me that the sarcoma had returned there.  By God's grace the x-rays showed it was simply injury from a fall I had taken and it has subsided to its normal discomfort.  Then a lump on my lower leg grew:  a lump that was presumed to be the sarcoma.  I struggled daily, not with the sarcoma rising up, but with the thought that I would have to be taking time out to go back to MD Anderson for biopsy and possible surgery at a time when I wanted to be able to help with my grandbaby. God is so merciful, humbling me as He still opened His word to me giving comfort to my soul as I struggled.  I read in Psalm 94 that even David experienced anxieties.  Verses 17-19 say, " If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.  When I thought, 'My foot slips,'  your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul."  Besides the peace that gave me, the Lord was indeed my help causing the scans to show no obvious progression and allowing the decision to be made to do nothing until a recheck in three months.  Also, in nothing short of God's providence the nodules that have been seen in my lung scans for about two years now have remained unchanged in size.  In my vision, which had mistakenly been focused on me instead of Him, I had not even foreseen those outcomes as a possibility.  Oh me of little faith! God is gracious and merciful!

Recently there has been a great deal of focus on persecution of Christians throughout the world.  That too has caused me anxiety and daily it greatly burdens my heart, but even as I think on that I am given hope in the Word.  As I read about the plagues in Egypt, I made note with wonder that God caused flies to be in every Egyptian home to a point they could not escape them, yet the Bible says not one fly was found in Goshen.  To think that God controlled the flies so that not one entered the land of His people is amazing and humbling.   To know that He put Pharaoh in place just to show forth His power is a reminder that none of the persecution happens without His knowledge and permission.  As I think of Christians fleeing their homes with only what they can carry or being imprisoned, and I think of what comfort God's Word has been to me, I pray that these brothers and sisters will be reminded of Scripture to give them renewed hope and comfort.

As I've seen how applicable God's Word is in all my anxieties I am convicted to saturate myself more in my  todays as I don't know what tomorrow will bring.  How sad it would be to be faced with a time when I might not have the written Word and not be able to recall passages and stories of God's care.  It makes me determined to go back and memorize again chapters that I had down when younger that have slipped from my mind.  I am so grateful that God brings His words to mind when troubles beset my heart.

Paul Tripp, When you’re struggling with anxiety, Jesus tells you to look around at creation. Embedded in the physical world are constant theological reminders that God doesn’t abandon the work of his hands. The birds of the air, the flowers of the field, and countless other living organisms point to the loving care of God.

If God would care that much for birds and flowers, how much more would he care for those made in his image? If God feeds and clothes animals and plants without an eternal soul, how much more will he provide for those covered by the costly blood of his Son? You have reason to rest because creation preaches to you a gospel of divine faithfulness.

Mysterious Ways

As fireworks were going off last week, my littlest grand-daughter was born.  Olivia is a beautiful alert little baby born with a growth on her gum.  That growth led to her being flown to Children's Hospital in Dallas where they discovered a congenital heart defect.  I saw God's hand at work as I realized that, but for the growth, the heart condition would not have been diagnosed in a timely manner. 

I consider myself very blessed that my son and daughter-in-law allowed me to stay in Dallas with them and take turns at Olivia's bedside, holding her and feeding her.  As I talked to her, sang hymns to her and prayed over her, many thoughts came to my mind as well as many Scriptures.  It afforded me great peace to know that this little one and her health rest in someone's hands far greater than even the terrific doctors caring for her.  God brought her through the gum surgery.  We are praying that she will be kept free from illness in the next few months until she faces open heart surgery in September or October.

Olivia's life is a weaving being formed by the Almighty God.  Until it is complete we will see the dark threads as well as the gold without knowing what they form.  When the Master Weaver is finished and the weaving is complete, only then, will we see the beauty of the whole and understand how the dark threads were as important as the gold.

The week before Olivia was born I bought several copies of a booklet, Behind a Frowning Providence, by John Murray for each of my children.  I bought them because it was such a blessing to me in thinking of my cancer, but am grateful that I read it before the complications of Olivia's birth.  I share some quotes from that booklet.

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Providence is that marvelous working of God by which all the events and happenings in his universe accomplish the purpose he has in mind.

Providence is the outworking of the will of God in my life.

One of the reasons God did not answer Job's cries for justice was because he wanted to continue his relationship with Job on the basis of grace.  God didn't want Job to have 'commercial faith' based on a celestial contract.  He wanted Job to have faith in a God with such richness of character -  love, mercy, grace, goodness, kindness - that nothing could interfere with their relationship.  Because the key question is not 'Why do the righteous suffer?' but "Do we worship a God who is worthy of our suffering?' (Wiersbe)

From a favorite hymn of mine by William Cowper come these words:

God moves in a mysterious way

His wonders to perform;

He plants His footsteps in the sea

And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines

Of never failing skill

He treasures up His bright designs

And works His sov’reign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;

The clouds ye so much dread

Are big with mercy and shall break

In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,

But trust Him for His grace;

Behind a frowning providence

He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,

Unfolding every hour;

The bud may have a bitter taste,

But sweet will be the flow’r.

Blind unbelief is sure to err

And scan His work in vain;

God is His own interpreter,

And He will make it plain.

Lastly a dear friend shared this devotional by Spurgeon a couple of weeks ago.  Now is a good time to think on it.

"On mine arm shall they trust." from Isaiah 51:5

In seasons of severe trial, the Christian has nothing on earth that he can trust to, and is therefore compelled to cast himself on his God alone. When his vessel is on its beam-ends, and no human deliverance can avail, he must simply and entirely trust himself to the providence and care of God. Happy storm that wrecks a man on such a rock as this! O blessed hurricane that drives the soul to God and God alone! There is no getting at our God sometimes because of the multitude of our friends; but when a man is so poor, so friendless, so helpless that he has nowhere else to turn, he flies into his Father's arms, and is blessedly clasped therein! When he is burdened with troubles so pressing and so peculiar, that he cannot tell them to any but his God, he may be thankful for them; for he will learn more of his Lord then than at any other time. Oh, tempest-tossed believer, it is a happy trouble that drives thee to thy Father! Now that thou hast only thy God to trust to, see that thou puttest thy full confidence in him. Dishonour not thy Lord and Master by unworthy doubts and fears; but be strong in faith, giving glory to God. Show the world that thy God is worth ten thousand worlds to thee. Show rich men how rich thou art in thy poverty when the Lord God is thy helper. Show the strong man how strong thou art in thy weakness when underneath thee are the everlasting arms. Now is the time for feats of faith and valiant exploits. Be strong and very courageous, and the Lord thy God shall certainly, as surely as he built the heavens and the earth, glorify himself in thy weakness, and magnify his might in the midst of thy distress. The grandeur of the arch of heaven would be spoiled if the sky were supported by a single visible column, and your faith would lose its glory if it rested on anything discernible by the carnal eye. May the Holy Spirit give you to rest in Jesus this closing day of the month.