What god?

Stand at the foot of the cross, and count the purple drops by which you have been cleansed; see

the thorn-crown; mark his scourged shoulders, still gushing with encrimsoned rills; see hands

and feet given up to the rough iron, and his whole self to mockery and scorn; see the bitterness,

and the pangs, and the throes of inward grief, showing themselves in his outward frame; hear the

thrilling shriek, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" And if you do not lie prostrate

on the ground before that cross, you have never seen it: if you are not humbled in the presence of

Jesus, you do not know him. Charles Spurgeon

Someone I was friends with years back contended that it didn't matter what god you believed in. She claimed that whether you were a Mormon, Jehovah's Witness, Muslim or Christian did not matter. Her contention was that God was god in many different ways to different people and he would honor their belief and we would all end up in the same place after this life. As I deal with the reality that my cancer has returned and start to plan for further testing and possible treatment (putting it off for the moment to enjoy weddings and grand-babies) I have thought of my friend's philosophy. In some ways it would make life a lot easier if I thought that way. The trouble is that neither my thinking nor hers makes something true. If my friend had bothered to pay attention to any of the claims of those religions she would have found that each one denies the others as being true. As for me, I fully believe the Scripture that Christ is the only way to salvation. As He said in John 14:6, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” Isaiah 44:6 says, "Thus says the Lord, the King of Israel and his Redeemer, the Lord of hosts: 'I am the first and I am the last; besides me there is no god.'" It very much does matter in whose hands we put our trust and our future.

I fear, however, that even among professing Christians we have a tendency to recreate God in our own image. I’ve heard friends say they believe in the God of the New Testament, but not of the Old. I’ve had friends who like to see God as a God only of love and not of justice. However, the Bible says that God "is the same yesterday, today and forever." Do I understand all of what He did in the Old Testament? No, but for me to try to say that cannot be the same God is to put myself above Him and try to make Him into someone I am pleased with. Is it any easier to understand how God Almighty looked down in love on me, who am but nothing, and chose me to be one of His children? So, I believe and look forward to the day in Heaven when I can see how it all fits in and fully know Who He is. I know I will be humbled with the knowledge I discover then and by the misconceptions I have now.

For myself, I don't put faith in other religions and I attempt to take God for who He says He is in His Word, but I fear the tendency I have is to make additional gods in my life. Yes, I trust in God alone for salvation, but often I put the things of this world above my worship of Him. So often the kingdom revolves around me instead my being a part of His kingdom. There is a war going on in my heart and it is easy to get my perspective wrong. So often I think that because my theology is right (or I think it is), because I read the Bible and go to a good church, that I am worshiping the true Lord. However, when I peek into those things often I see that I am all too frequently driven by material things, by what others think of me, by the day's activities or trying to control my own life and health. Those idols are often hidden and thus most dangerous to my Christian life. The Heidelberg Catechism #95 asks: "What is idolatry?" The answer is, "Idolatry is having or inventing something in which one trusts in place of or alongside of the only true God, who has revealed himself in his Word."  Our pastor said it well in his sermon yesterday morning, "What distracts you from wholehearted devotion to Christ and what draws you away from affection to Christ, is idolatry."  I pray that God with His jealous love for His bride would make me aware of and destroy the idols that draw me aside from full affection to Him.

Community

Matthew 25:31-46 1 When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne.  Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.  And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left.  Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,  I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’  Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?  And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?  And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’  And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’  Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.  For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,  I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’  Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’  Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’  And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.

In this morning's sermon the pastor asked the question, "What is a Christian?"  His answer in part was to say that to be a Christian means loving God and loving others, serving God and serving others.  I saw evidence of this last week as my  daughter was married and I witnessed firsthand the great impact of the Christian community in our lives.  The wedding was absolutely beautiful and was made that way, to a great extent, by the giving of others.  I can hardly begin to recount the ways.  Everything from a place to hold the wedding, help organizing the reception, a wonderful photographer, the meal being provided, cakes and cookies being made to help with set up and tear  down.  Many people in the family of Christ, some who had never even met my daughter or myself, gave of themselves, their time and their goods to make it what it was.  It is beyond me to even know how to show gratitude to those many who gave.  So often I have been the recipient of giving of the body of Christ.  It makes me wonder how many needs and opportunities there are in my local body of Christ that I am not seeing.

It also makes me wonder at what I need to be doing in the community at large.  My sons and I have an ongoing discussion in our home about what our role as Christians should be in the community.  I think we are agreed on at least three things.  First, there is a difference in our role in our local church body and our role in the community at large.  Second,  we do much better in our church community and are unsure of what more we need to do to reach out to the community at large.  Thirdly,  it is a lot easier to talk then act!

I am convicted in my Bible reading that this is God's world and I am to reflect Him in it by my actions, but 'how' is always the question.  I used to make it a habit to take the children and go visit at nursing homes.  I watch as a brother of mine works in a much bigger effort as he raises money to help bring refuges from a war torn country we love to the states and am humbled.  I know there are local churches helping the homeless and providing soup kitchens.  The Bible is full of instructions about being merciful and giving.  The example of Jesus, who we are to imitate, is one of someone who was always reaching out to the needy.  That tells me that I need to DO.  But knowing where I fit in is harder.  We all have our gifts and abilities that so often are unused.  I think sometimes I am looking for the big things and as a consequence passing by the small.  I do know that I don't want to arrive before the judgment seat and have it asked of me what I did for those in need.  As Matthew 7 says, "Not everyone that says unto me 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of Heaven."

I share these quotes from a wonderful little book by Sinclair Ferguson called "The Sermon on the Mount": 

Mercy is getting down on your hands and knees and doing what you can to restore dignity to someone whose life has been broken by sin (whether his own or that of someone else)....When he (Jesus) encountered broken reeds, he did not break them; he healed them.  When he met men whose lives were like dimly burning wicks, he did not quench them; he fanned them into flames.  Jesus restored the weak and the bruised.  He never passed them by, or worse, tramples on them (Matt. 12:18-21)....Too often we underplay the importance of mercy in the Christian life.  We treat it as an 'added extra,' perhaps even an 'optional extra.'  But Scripture treats it as a divine necessity, which we ignore to our spiritual peril....How is it that we claim to be Christians, yet show so little mercy?  Why are we so self-seeking, choosing a lifestyle of convenience rather than a self-sacrificing lifestyle of showing mercy?  Is it because we have felt our own need of mercy far too little?  Is it because we have only a superficial understanding of the riches of God's kindness to us?  There can be no other explanations.  Those who have been forgiven much, love much.  Those who know they have received mercy, show mercy.  And the merciful are greatly blessed, because they will receive mercy from God himself. 

So for today, I think I need to quit thinking and start acting.   Faith should be the precursor to action!  God has promised He will use us in our weakness, so I have no right to use that as an excuse.  I am praying that God will open my eyes to what He wants me to do and give me the grace to act.  I know He blesses the actions we take.    Oh that Christ would be shining through my life showing Him to those around me.

Proverbs 21:13  If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered.

Revelation 20:12  And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Then another book was opened, which is the book of life.  And the dead were judged by what was written in the books, according to what they had done.

In His Hands

And all the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing: and he doeth according to his will in the army of heaven, and among the inhabitants of the earth: and none can stay his hand, or say unto him, What doest thou?  Daniel 4:35

This past week I saw my local oncologist and received the results of my most recent follow-up scans.   The scan of my lungs showed no cancer!  The scan of the lower left leg shows a continued 6 mm mass that is presumed to be the sarcoma.  I expected that as I have felt the nodule on the side of the radiated leg and had more swelling in it for a couple of weeks.   The good news is that it appears to be the same size as it was when first seen on scans six months ago.  Not as good is the fact that I can now palpate it.  Because it is on the radiated leg and I have had very serious healing problems when even a biopsy is done there, we made the decision to do repeat scans in three months unless it appears to be growing more rapidly before then.  At the point it is confirmed to be aggressively growing again (there or elsewhere) I hope to pursue a new immunotherapy treatment that has shown some very promising results at stalling the growth of several types of cancer with few side effects.  There is apparently no good way of ascertaining spread in the hip area where I had surgery last due to the rod causing artifact on scans.  While I do have some pain there, it is hopefully what is expected considering all the exercise I am doing to strengthen my leg muscles.  Overall, my strength is increasing every day and I feel better than I have in years!  For that I give God the praise!

What is most amazing is that I have complete peace despite the uncertainty of the results.  Even in my trying to rememorize Romans 8 this past week, I am reminded that I am chosen to be a child of God and as such am the recipient of His incomprehensible love, mercy and forgiveness.  I cannot imagine not being at peace when I keep my eyes fixed on the fact that my God has immeasurable power, is sovereign over all things, and has abounding grace and mercy.  I revel in the knowledge that the same God who has the nations in His hands also has control over the duplication of cancer cells in my body and know there is no better place to rest.  The days behind are gone, never to be relived.  He has granted me today and perhaps more tomorrows!  For that I give Him the glory and aim and hope to please Him in my use of each of them.

Thy mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens; and thy faithfulness reacheth unto the clouds.  Thy righteousness is like the great mountains; thy judgments are a great deep: O Lord, thou preservest man and beast.   How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings.   They shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house; and thou shalt make them drink of the river of thy pleasures.  For with thee is the fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light.  O continue thy lovingkindness unto them that know thee; and thy righteousness to the upright in heart.   Let not the foot of pride come against me, and let not the hand of the wicked remove me.  There are the workers of iniquity fallen: they are cast down, and shall not be able to rise.  Psalm 36: 5-9

A Story of Self or My Autobiography

Recently I was editing a story I wrote about my special needs son, Jesse, for a blog a friend has put together (http://specialneedsspeciallove.com/) on the joys and struggles of raising special needs children.   It got me to thinking of how the story of my life would read, which in turn led me to thinking on the stories of the lives of saints in the Bible.  Most of the stories I thought of were quite different from what we would think of as a biography.  In fact all the stories were about much more than the individual.  I mused on the fact that the short story of our lives  is not even about us.  While I am a very vital character, I am not a primary character.  The story of my life intertwines with the story of the lives of many others, but most  importantly with the One who the story is about - God himself and the redemption of His people.

I've said it before, but one of my favorite stories in the Bible is that of Joseph.  It is amazing to read of his life with brothers who hated him, being sold as a slave, thrown into prison by a conniving spurned woman and being forgotten for years while there.   Joseph was definitely a man of faith, but his story is not even about that.  It is about how God used (and brought about) all of the snippets of his life to save His people from starvation, something Joseph was unaware of until near the end.   Even more than that it is just one small segment of the story of God's redemption.

There are other very interesting things individuals did in the Bible.  There was Noah building an ark on dry land to the amusement of his neighbors.  The apostle John was clothed in a loin cloth eating locusts and wild honey.  There were Daniel and his friends being thrown into a fiery furnace.   Esther became the queen of a pagan king.  Then there was Isaiah, who was called by God to be naked and barefoot for three years!  (I can just see the possible conversation with God, "Wouldn't my brother be better suited to this job?")  What about Hosea who was told to marry a prostitute?   Thinking on these stories reminds me why I object to so many Bible story books today:  they tend to focus on the interesting story without showing how it relates to the BIG story that it is a part of.   All of those stories are about far more than the individual characters and when I fail to see that I am missing the vital essence of the story.

As I think of my story, I know I tend to wrongly focus to a large degree on MY cancer when that is really a very small part of my life.  It is so reassuring to make note of biblical characters lives, see how they intertwine with the BIG story and be reminded that my story is about the Bride of Christ and how this one insignificant individual fits perfectly into the plan that God has for His Bride, the church.  As I face my follow-up scans before too long, it is a wonderful thought that my life with all its snippets is part of something much bigger - the story of redemption.  I don't need, nor do I want my independence, because as Paul Tripp in A Shelter in the time of Storm, says, "I was carefully designed by the Creator to live in a dependent, obedient, and worshipful relationship with him and in humble, interdependent relationships with other human beings.  The quest for independence is not simply a spiritual mistake;  it's a fundamental denial of my humanity." 

Paying Forward

"Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy."  Matthew 5:7

The concept of "paying forward" seems to becoming more and more popular lately.  As best as I can understand, it is the idea of someone doing a good deed to you which  you then "pay forward" by doing a good deed for someone else.  I've read examples of it such as someone paying a toll for the person behind them at the toll booth.  Another of  buying someone behind you a meal when in line at a fast food restaurant.  Perhaps the most touching was seen recently in a video that went viral of a little boy finding a twenty dollar bill in a restaurant parking lot and giving it to a soldier inside with a note about his soldier father who died when he was an infant and "paying forward" by giving the man the bill.   In many ways this is a cool way of showing love for others, but it certainly shouldn't be the main reason why we give.

I've been thinking a great deal about giving lately as I've been experiencing a great deal of it.  With my daughter's wedding fast approaching, she and I have had several recent discussions about how  many have blessed us over the last few years and continue to do so.    Many things in her wedding are gifts from someone.   Because of scholarships her last two years of college were paid for.    When my husband was dying from his cancer, friends and family gave and gave.   Since then, and all through my cancer treatments, friends rallied around providing in more ways than I could have dreamed of.   I don't think most of this giving had anything to do with what these people had been given, but was simply out of love and care.

While I like the concept of paying forward, for the Christian I think it is more giving back or "paying forward" just a bit of what God has given to us.  We take for granted so many of the blessings He gives us each and every day.  Because of that, we tend to not give back to others out of the showers of blessings He gives to us.  My prayer is that I will be more aware of where and how I need to give to others, remembering, not primarily what others have given me, but mostly that all I have is given to me to use for His glory.  John Calvin in the "Golden Booklet of the True Christian Life," says You cannot imagine a more certain rule or a more powerful suggestion than this, that all the blessings we enjoy are divine deposits which we have received on this condition that we distribute them to others.