Random Thoughts on Hospitalization

I am very grateful to God for successful surgery on the 9^th.    I have moved back from the Houston hospital to Tyler Rehab.  I will have to go home with home health care and home physical therapy for awhile, but hope to leave here in the next couple/few days.   I have made great progress in physical therapy and pray I continue to do so.

Sisters are wonderful!

Having a brace around the waist and leg is torture, but will not last forever.

It is easier being a nurse than a patient/nurse.  Being a patient/nurse does not make one a patient nurse!

Riding in an ambulance for four hours squashed on a stretcher with a brace that juts out two inches is not fun.

Ambulances do not have good shock absorbers.

Eating at a table with strangers in rehab is not the same as being surrounded by family or church friends.

Hospitals are made of red tape and the red tape often gets in the way of good patient care.

There are nurses and hospital staff who work for their checks and others that love what they do.  It shows!

There are people everywhere…staff and patients….who need a word of grace.

Even writing a verse on the white board or having a poem on the desk can make people think.  The Word will not return void.

Post op pain is not as bad as constant throbbing pre-op pain from cancer in the bone.

One never expects to be totally dependent on others.

Being dependent is a rough thing to do.

Being physically dependent on someone else for my basic needs has made me think how dependent we are on God every moment of every day physically and spiritually.

I sometimes resent being dependent spiritually as I do physically.

Resenting dependence on God is an insult to the Almighty.

It is easy to forget who is in control.

God has a plan and His is better than mine.

"But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me I shall come forth as gold. My foot has held fast to His steps; I have kept His way and not turned aside. I have not departed from the commandments of His lips; I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food. "  Job 23:10-12

"You words were found, and I ate them, and Your Word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart; for I am called by Your name, O Lord God of hosts."
Jer. 15:16

My plan/His Plan

As I sit here in the huge hospital complex of MD Anderson, 6 days after major surgery to reconstruct my cancer-ridden femur, I have been contemplating how good God has been in bringing me through surgery with no complications.  The pain is tolerable, the staff caring and several humorous situations have been thrown in to make me laugh and/or sigh.  I am very grateful to have a sister who has taken time to come to Houston to cater to my every whim.   This would have been very difficult to manage without her.  I am incredibly thankful for my family and their love and support in so many ways, though it seems they are far too young to have to share this path.   I am also grateful, among many things for a wonderful church family who has blessed my family while I am gone.  In other answers to prayer requests which I made in the last blog, the children’s finals are done, Chris, Bethany and Tegan are off to California, and my Mother has been stable though she still struggles with her health issues.  God has been good!  I am “blessed” with a brace, invented by someone specializing in torture, around my hips and thigh that will need to be left on for six weeks!  This, along with my not using the left leg in months has made it very difficult to get from bed to chair and back…ok, doesn’t help that I was out of shape to begin with.  I do, however, see progress every day despite my impatience.   I hope to leave here mid week and be taken to  a rehab facility in Tyler to be closer to home as I will have to have more therapy to be able to do some more things myself.

My particular current prayer requests are that rehab will continue to be effective and speedy, that I will be spared from injury, that my family would continue to do well and my Mother improve in her health.

A good friend and her brother, both of whom I went to high school with, came to visit the other day.  It was such a joy!  My friend Betty, left me with a book called A Dying Man’s Regrets by Adolphe Monod which I have been enjoying.  I am sure some of you are asking what kind of a friend would leave a book with such a title for someone recuperating from major surgery, and some of you are wondering if I am severely depressed to read it!  Well, my friend, who knows me well, brought the perfect book to read.  We initially read it in high school and since we are all in the dying process at one stage or another, it is a good booklet to read anytime.  Since I am not up to lengthy blogging I will just pass on some snippets.

The author was a well know preacher in France who was struck by a severe terminal illness at the age of fifty-three.  His grave concern was that God was taking him before his work was finished.  Instead, God used him in greater ways through what he was able to share through his suffering.    He speaks of regretting having regulated his life by his own plans, even seemingly good ones, instead of focusing on the plan of God as it unfolds.  As he says, none of our plans will be successful unless they are part of God’s plan, for then God undertakes to guide us.   Jesus is the perfect One to imitate in following the Father’s plan as His only desire in life was to focus on that plan.  As our lives seek to be in harmony with the will of God, Man’s action then becomes divine action, and life becomes, as it were, divine life, throbbing in the heart of man, in which something is accomplished by the power of God.  We have no idea of what we might do if we were completely swallowed up in this perfect harmony with God;   if we sought no other will than His;  if every word of our mouth, every beat of our heart, every thought of our intellect, every movement of our body and of our spirit were drawn towards Him, to wait on Him with the spirit of Samuel: “Speak, Lord, for thy servant heareth”.  There are some men—like Luther, Calvin, St. Paul, Moses—who have shown what a man can do when he seeks only the will of God.  Jesus Christ has done much more, because in Him alone was conformity to the will of God perfect.  The wonderful thing is that God does not demand more than we are capable of doing by His grace. 

So as Pastor Monod instructs, I will try to settle my impatience by realizing that even in the suffering that God has given me to go through now and by the hope of life eternal He is accomplishing His purposes.  I also will try to remember to commit my days and work into His hands knowing He will not take me from His work until He deems it done!

The Great Unknown

Tomorrow I go under the knife at MD Anderson, reporting in at 5:15am.  I had my pre-op work done this past Wednesday.  The scans they did then show the sarcoma is continuing to grow in the femur making the reconstruction even more vital before the bone breaks.  They reinforced that this is not curative and depending on where it shows up next, there may be more surgeries in the picture (their picture). There are many unknowns and uncertainties for me in this surgery,  but I am resting my confidence in God, to whom there are no uncertainties.  I know He has it all planned out and it will go according to His will.  I am very grateful that I am going into this with peace in my heart.

I am very blessed to have  many of you praying for me.  As I go through surgery and recovery, I would like  to ask prayer for some specific requests.

1.  That the surgery itself would go well without complication.

2.  That the pain would be controlled satisfactorily.

3.  That the rehab process would go well and that in the process my tendency to have my kneecaps dislocate would not be a hindrance to getting strength back in my legs.

4.  That I do not have to do in-patient rehab when my hospitalization in Houston is done.

5.  That I might have mobility restored to me.

6.  For sustaining grace for my family that are with me and those at home.  Rachel and David will have finals this week to add to their stress.  Chris, Bethany and Tegan will be leaving for California late in the week.  Jesse will remain at home.  Jason and Heather are coming to Houston for a couple of days along with my sister from Ohio.

7.  For peace, wellness and protection for Mother who has been fighting illness for several weeks.  At 96 health issues hit quickly and have worsening affects.

8.  That I might be a testimony to all those I come in contact with. 

Blessed be the Lord, because He has heard the voice of my supplications!

The Lord is my strength and my shield;

My heart trusted in Him and I am helped;

Therefore my heart greatly rejoices,

And with my song I will praise Him.

The Lord is my strength and He is the saving refuge of His anointed.

Save Your people, and bless Your inheritance;

Shepherd them also, and bear them up forever.